25 Things Learned in 50 Years

 25 things I have learned in 50 years (by Dave Barry)

1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of
helicopters in it.

2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling
reason why we observe daylight-saving time.

3. People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense
of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor.

4. The most valuable function performed by the federal government is
entertainment.

5. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you
think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her
at that moment.

6. A penny saved is worthless.

7. They can hold all the peace talks they want, but there will never be
peace in the Middle East. Billions of years from now, when Earth is
hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet
except a few microorganisms, the microorganisms living in the Middle East
will be bitter enemies.

8. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

9. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,
religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down
inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.

10. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make
a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.

11. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”

12. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
want you to share yours with them.

13. There apparently exists, somewhere in Los Angeles, a computer that
generates concepts for television sitcoms. When TV executives need a
new concept, they turn on this computer; after sorting through millions
of possible plot premises, it spits out, “THREE QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE
YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT,” and the executives turn this
concept into a show. The next time they need an idea, the computer
spits out, “SIX QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN
APARTMENT.” Then the next time, it spits out, “FOUR QUIRKY BUT
ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT.” And so on. We need
to locate this computer and destroy it with hammers.

14. Nobody is normal.

15. At least once per year, some group of scientists will become very
excited and announce that:
* The universe is even bigger than they thought!
* There are even more subatomic particles than they thought!
* Whatever they announced last year about global warming is wrong.

16. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has
not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word
would be “meetings.”

17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy
people who are not in them.

18. The value of advertising is that it tells you the exact opposite of what
the advertiser actually thinks. For example:
* If the advertisement says “This is not your father’s Oldsmobile,” the
advertiser is desperately concerned that this Oldsmobile, like all other
Oldsmobiles, appeals primarily to old farts like your father.
* If Coke and Pepsi spend billions of dollars to convince you that there
are significant differences between these two products, both companies
realize that Pepsi and Coke are virtually identical.
* If the advertisement strongly suggests that Nike shoes enable athletes
to perform amazing feats, Nike wants you to disregard the fact that shoe
brand is unrelated to athletic ability.
* If Budweiser runs an elaborate advertising campaign stressing the
critical importance of a beer’s “born-on” date, Budweiser knows this
factor has virtually nothing to do with how good a beer tastes.

19. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of
its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will
not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

20. You should not confuse your career with your life.

21. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

22. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

23. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual
who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often,
that individual is crazy.

24. Your friends love you anyway.

25. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

— Dave Barry

Shigeru Miyamoto

 shigeru_miyamoto.jpg

Shigeru Miyamoto
Miyamoto demonstrating the Wii Remote during the E³ 2006 press conference.
Born    November 16, 1952
Sonobe (now Nantan), Kyoto
Occupation    Senior marketing director, Nintendo
General manager, Nintendo Entertainment Analysis and Development.
Spouse    Yasuko Miyamoto

Shigeru Miyamoto is the designer that put Nintendo on the map and saved the company from bankruptcy. He is also the composer of the original Donkey Kong video game music – which he composed on a little home keyboard.

Shigeru Miyamoto (宮本 茂, Miyamoto Shigeru?, born November 16, 1952) is a Japanese video game designer. He is the creator of the Mario, Donkey Kong, The Legend of Zelda, Star Fox, Nintendogs, Wave Race, and Pikmin video game series for Nintendo game systems.

He is one of the world’s most celebrated game designers, and is often called the father of modern video gaming. His titles are characterized by refined control-mechanics and imaginative worlds in which the players are encouraged to discover things for themselves, as well as basic storylines, which had been almost unheard of before he introduced one of the first, featuring Mario.

Employed by Nintendo (then a Hanafuda manufacturer) as an artist, in 1980 he was given the task of designing one of their first coin-op arcade games. The resulting title Donkey Kong was a huge success and the game’s lead character, Jump Man — now called Mario — has become Nintendo’s mascot. Miyamoto quickly became Nintendo’s star producer designing many franchises for the company, most of which are still active and very well-regarded. He has also given to many charities as well.

Shigeru Miyamoto has two children with his wife, Yasuko Miyamoto, who was general manager of Nintendo of Japan in 1977. Neither of their children has expressed a desire to go into the family business. He is currently the Director and General Manager of Nintendo Entertainment Analysis and Development (EAD), the corporate sector of Nintendo of Japan. In 1998, Miyamoto became the first person to be inducted into the Academy of Interactive Arts and Sciences’ Hall of Fame.

Early life

Shigeru Miyamoto was born in Sonobe (now Nantan), Kyoto, Japan. As a young boy, Miyamoto loved to draw, paint pictures, and explore the landscape surrounding his house. Stories describe his fascinated discovery of hidden caves, lakes, and other natural features which were linked to his later work. In 1970, he enrolled in the Kanazawa College of Art, and graduated five years later, though he would later remark that his studies often took a backseat to doodling. In 1977 Miyamoto, armed with a degree in industrial design, was able to arrange a meeting with Hiroshi Yamauchi who was a friend of his father and the head of Nintendo of Japan. Yamauchi hired Miyamoto to be a “staff artist” and assigned him to apprentice in the planning department.

Nintendo

In 1980, the fairly new Nintendo of America was looking for a hit to establish itself as a player in the growing arcade market. After successful location tests using prototypes, NoA CEO Minoru Arakawa ordered a very large number of units of Radar Scope, an arcade game. However, by the time the arcade machines could be produced and shipped to the U.S., interest had vaporized, causing Radar Scope to be a huge flop. To stay afloat and clear the costly inventory of Radar Scope, Nintendo of America desperately needed a smash-hit game that the unsold machines could be converted to play. Yamauchi assigned Miyamoto, the only person available, the task of creating the game that would make or break the company.

After Miyamoto had consulted with some of the company’s engineers although he had no prior programming experience, and composed the music himself on a small electronic keyboard, Donkey Kong was fully conceptualized. When the game was complete, the chips containing the new program were rushed to the U.S. and Nintendo employees worked around the clock to convert the “Radar Scope” machines. It was fortuitous that Nintendo had so many units on hand, because Donkey Kong was an overnight success, and not only saved the company, but introduced the character who more than any other would be identified with Nintendo.

The three most famous characters Miyamoto created for the game were Donkey Kong, Jump Man, and Pauline. It was Mario, a character who descends from Jump Man, that has found the most success, and since his debut in Donkey Kong he has appeared in more than 100 games spanning over a dozen gaming platforms.

Miyamoto is usually listed as “producer” in the credits of Mario games. The few exceptions include the Super Mario Land series for the Game Boy, which he had virtually nothing to do with. (Gunpei Yokoi, Miyamoto’s mentor, produced the Super Mario Land series.) In early U.S. releases, he was sometimes credited as “Miyahon”, a mistransscription of the kanji in his name (本 — which can be read as either hon or moto). The mistranslated surname was Miyamoto’s development nickname in the 1980’s (having a nickname was a common practice among Japanese game developers at the time).

At E3’s convention in 1997, Miyamoto revealed that he was constantly working with around four hundred people on a dozen or so projects at a time.[1]

Despite being an influential figure in video games and responsible for multi-million dollar franchises, Miyamoto is said to be very humble, insisting on settling for an average income, and often rides a bicycle to work.