More Musician Jokes

How to make a million dollars playing music? Start with two million.

What do you call a beautiful woman on a musicians’ arm? A tattoo.

The difference between a conductor and a bag of manure? The bag.

What happens if you play blues or country backwards? Your wife returns, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of prison.

What is a musician called who only knows 3 chords? A music critic.

How do you keep your guitar from being stolen? Put it in a tuba case.

What’s the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner? You have to plug one in before it sucks.

Rare sight: A lead singer who carries equipment other than a microphone and change of clothes.

The difference between a bull and a lead singer fronting a brass band? The bull has the horns in front and the ass in the rear.

How many Grateful Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb? 12,001. One to change it, 2.000 to record the event and take pictures, and 10,000 to follow it around until it burns out.

Venetian Macao Resort Hotel – China

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The Macau Venetian will be the home to a new Cirque Du Soleil show in 2008. This new casino is Venetian owner Sheldon Adelson’s crowning achievement. He and wife, Dr. Miriam Adelson and his board of directors and the top executives of the Las Vegas Sands corporation all flew out to Macau, the Chinese-governed enclave some 30-minutes from Hong Kong.

On Tuesday (Aug 28), they were all in black tie and Venetian Carnevale attire with Chinese government officials for the 4 p.m. red carpet Grand Opening of his $2-billion Venetian Macao Resort Hotel – his second property there. His new resort building – the first on the new Cotai Strip there- is the largest in all of Asia and the second largest building in the world.

CEO William Weidner commented: “It took Vegas 75 years to emerge as an international destination with so many recognizable brand hotels. We are replicating that feat in Macau in less than three years.”

Wall Street experts believe his new hotel opening will be the biggest success story yet for Macau, and by year-end the staggering total revenues there will exceed not only all of Vegas, but all of Nevada!

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The Venetian Macau mega casino is set to open its doors on the Cotai Strip on August 28th. The owners, Las Vegas Sands Corporation, announced the official opening date of the $2.2 billion casino last week.

The casino and hotel complex is set to rival the standards expected of the casinos based in Las Vegas. Built over 10.5 million square feet, the complex will be the second largest building in the world; second only to the Boeing Plant in Washington.

The casino will house 3000 suites in the hotel, plus a theatre, arena and space for 300 shops. There will also be over 1000 table games and up to 7000 slots for casino lovers, making the complex suitable for both holidays and day trippers alike.

Cirque Du Soleil – Macau, China

 I’ll be playing in the band for the new Cirque show in Macao, China. Check my blog here for related info about Cirque and the show. Sorry, I will not be releasing details until they are released to the public. Check the Sands Venetian Macau website for showtimes and ticket prices.

INFO ABOUT CIRQUE MACAU 

As the popularity of gambling and other forms of entertainment continue to grow in Macau, Macau shows are not far behind. In the past the entertainment Macau featured was focused for the most part on gambling, but with the development of the Cotai Strip, meant to mirror the Las Vegas Strip, Macau will soon be including Macau shows as part of the entertainment Macau features. Cirque du Soleil, the touring act that currently features shows throughout the world, will soon be coming to Macau on the Cotai Strip. Cirque du Soleil Macau promises to bring all of the glamour of other Cirque du Soleil shows to the Cotai Strip.

Cirque du Soleil Macau promises to have an incredible and ornate show in Macau. A theatre with about 1,800 seats will open in the spring of 2008 to house the Cirque du Soleil Macau. Cirque du Soleil has created an entirely new show for the city of Macau, and residents and planners hope that the new entertainment Macau offers will draw even more tourists. The new Cirque du Soleil theatre will be located conveniently on the Cotai Strip and is being created by the Las Vegas Sands Corporation.

Cirque du Soleil tickets for the Macau shows will be available through the Venetian Macau. In addition to the Cirque du Soleil Theater, the Las Vegas Sands will also be building The Venetian Macau hotel in Macau. As with other Cirque du Soleil tickets, Cirque du Soleil tickets for the show in Macau will be available for purchase online, as well. Purchasing tickets online is a great way to reserve a seat ahead of time, although many times discounted tickets can be purchased the day of the show in person.

Although the Cirque du Soleil Macau show will be an entirely new show, there are some common themes that run through all Cirque du Soleil shows. In general, shows feature a central story line and a selection of music usually composed specifically for the story and Cirque du Soleil show. Many attendees have referred to Cirque du Soleil shows as the modern circus. Although they do not feature animals, shows do feature a number of dancers, clowns, trapeze artists, contortionists and jugglers. The music that accompanies the shows is always performed live, another unique aspect of the Cirque du Soleil show.

When the Cirque du Soleil Macau show does open in its brand new theater, the show looks to be quite spectacular. Concepts for the show are already in the works, and the theatre is being built to the specifications of the show. Best of all, guests of the show can stay at a number of a great resorts and hotels on the Cotai Strip. In addition to the Venetian Macau, the Crown Macau, the Emperor Palace Casino and Resort, the Grand Lisboa will be just a few of the great resorts on the strip. A collection of restaurants and duty-free shopping will also be part of the excitement for tourists.

So, whether you travel to Macau for shopping or entertainment or as part of your trip to nearby Hong Kong, the Cirque du Soleil Macau show is shaping up to be a unique and entertaining part of any Macau vacation.

Bye Bye Birdie Trivia

Thank you to Harlan for sending me this trivia on Bye Bye Birdie.

  • The name Conrad Birdie was a play off of the name Conway Twitty, who at the time was more of a rock-and-roller than a country singer.
  • The location of “Sweet Apple, Ohio” was inspired by lyricist Lee Adams hometown of Mansfield, Ohio.
  • Paul Lynde, who played Harry MacAfee, was born and raised in Mount Vernon, Ohio, just south of Mansfield.
  • Famous alumni of Bye Bye Birdie include Tommy Tune, Steve Zahn, Doris Roberts, Rue McClanahan, Gary Sandy, Randy Jones of the Village People, Marc Kudisch, Rachel Bilson, Jeff Trachta, Dick Van Dyke, Chita Rivera, Paul Lynde, Ann-Margret, Bobby Rydell, Jason Alexander, Vanessa L. Williams, Chynna Phillips, George Wendt, and Tyne Daly.
  • Gregory Gai played Conrad Birdie in the 2005 Justin-Siena Theater rendition of Bye-Bye Birdie. At 6’3″ (6’6″ in his three-inch heels), he was the tallest Conrad Birdie in the show’s history.
  • Bye Bye Birdie is often parodied on cartoons, including a “Telephone Hour” parody in Family Guy episode “Petarded” and a “Kids” parody in The Simpsons.
  • Put on a Happy Face was used by Wal-Mart in the 2000s for an advertising campaign with its smiley logo.
  • Rose Alvarez, who hails from Allentown, Pennsylvania in the play plot, is not the only Broadway character to hail from Allentown. In the plot of 42nd Street, up-and-coming Broadway star Peggy Sawyer also is from Allentown.

Freddy Fender Ringtones

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I ran across this picture today from a company advertising “Freddy Fender Ringtones”. I didn’t know whether to laugh or be offended. Here’s a picture of Freddy so you can decide for yourself. Any comments? I’ll just say I don’t ever remember Freddy carrying a boombox on his shoulder…..

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Klaus Nomi

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Klaus Nomi fans unite! Klaus Nomi is definately an acquired taste, and honestly I still have yet to meet someone in person who is also a fan. It’s his combination of classical, new wave and serious cheeze that makes him compelling to me. He was one of the first artists I heard where I went: “Oh wow, a musician can be like that?”. That was back in 1983 or so.

YouTube.com has a lot of his videos posted – search “Klaus Nomi” on YouTube for listings – or check out one of his videos here:

httpv://youtube.com/watch?v=C_A6IR58Htg

The other thing very intriguing about Klaus Nomi is that he made up not only a fictitious persona, but also fibbed a little on his real world identity. His claims of opera background were not exactly accurate – but that’s part of what makes him ultra cool to me. He just “did it” and did it his way.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyjbmA0EN-w

And if you are a Klaus Nomi hater (and I know there’s PLENTY of you out there), you at least have to give the concession that he is a unique artist. And from there you can cut and debate what “unique” means – but unique it is.

Klaus Nomi makes me happy. I don’t know why, he just does. IÂ picture him walking on stage in the 16th century doing his act with a string section. If you’re also a Nomi fan, please leave a comment. Nomi fans also make me happy, because I know there are other people out there that appreciate his art.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gma5IUNMTn0

And yes, Klaus Nomi was one of the first artists to die of AIDS. Back when AIDS was mysterious and not talked about much. I remember how sad I was when I heard about that. Sad for me, because I wanted to hear more of his music.

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KLAUS NOMI ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

In 1980 Klaus Nomi was on Saturday Night Live with David Bowie and Joey Arias. David Bowie invited Klaus to perform with him after seeing footage shot by Anders Grafstrom.

Many of Klaus’ fans have wondered about the identity of Anders Grafstrom to whom Klaus dedicated his first album.He was a Swedish film-maker and good friend of Nomi who was killed in a car accident. He filmed many early performances of klaus and Klaus had a role in Grafstrom’s ” The Long Island Four”.The early film footage was shown to David Bowie who became very intrigued with Klaus.As a result Klaus was invited by Bowie to appear with him on “Saturday Night Live” in 1980. Grafstrom’s footage was also used by Michael O’ Donaghue in his “Mr. Mike’s Mondo Video.

SNL Photo with Bowie, Nomi and Arias

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ABOUT KLAUS NOMI

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Klaus Nomi (January 24, 1944 – August 6, 1983) was a German countertenor noted for remarkable vocal performances and an unusual, elfin stage persona. Nomi is remembered for bizarrely theatrical live performances, heavy make-up, unusual costumes, and a highly stylized signature hairdo which flaunted a receding hairline. His songs were equally unusual, ranging from synthesizer-laden interpretations of classic opera to covers of 1960s pop standards like Chubby Checker’s “The Twist” and Lou Christie’s “Lightning Strikes”.

Personal life

Nomi was born Klaus Sperber in Immenstadt, Germany. His birthday is commonly observed as January 24, 1944, though the director of The Nomi Song stated at the New York City premiere of the documentary that Sperber’s exact birthday is unknown.

Nomi moved from Germany to New York City in the mid-1970s. He began his involvement with the art scene based in the East Village. According to Horn’s documentary film, Nomi took singing lessons and supported himself working as a pastry chef. Nomi moved in gay circles and in the performance underground.

Nomi died on August 6, 1983 in New York City, one of the first celebrities to die of an illness complicated by AIDS.

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Career

After a chance meeting in a nightclub, David Bowie hired Nomi and Joey Arias as back-up singers and consultants on costume design for a performance on Saturday Night Live which aired on December 14, 1979.

Nomi also collaborated with producer Man Parrish.

The 1981 rock documentary film, Urgh! A Music War features Nomi’s live performance of Total Eclipse.

Influence and cultural significance

Filmmakers like Andrew Horn and writers like Jim Fouratt consider Nomi an important part of the 1980s East Village scene, which was a hotbed of development for punk rock, music, the visual arts, and the avant-garde. Although Nomi’s work was not met with national commercial success at the time, he garnered a cult following, mainly in New York and in France.

Andrew Horn’s 2004 feature documentary about Nomi’s life The Nomi Song released on Palm Pictures helped spur renewed interest in the singer, including an art exhibit in San Francisco at the New Langton gallery.

Nomi’s influence can also be measured by references and homages to him in the work of later artists.

British pop icon Morrissey used the song “Wayward Sisters”* as an introduction prior to appearing on stage to begin a concert for his Kill Uncle tour. Morrissey included Nomi’s song “Death” in his compilation of influential songs titled “Under the Influence”.

Austrian composer Olga Neuwirth wrote a “Hommage à Klaus Nomi” for countertenor and chamber ensemble.

A fictionalised version of Klaus Nomi appears in a two-part episode of animated comedy/adventure series The Venture Bros. In “Showdown at Cremation Creek (Part I),” he appears as one of David Bowie’s bodyguard henchmen (alongside an animated Iggy Pop, another Bowie collaborator). “Klaus” attacks his opponents with ultra-high-pitched singing and the over-sized bow tie of his famous costume, spun and ejected as a battering weapon. In “Showdown at Cremation Creek (Part II),” “Klaus” seems to have been killed after betraying Bowie in order to become a henchman of a villain known as The Phantom Limb.

Nomi’s flamboyant cover of Lesley Gore’s 1964 hit “You Don’t Own Me” is sometimes featured on The Rush Limbaugh Show as the “Homosexual Community Update” Updates (Rush Limbaugh) This was done after Gore’s original was for a time adopted as the Feminist Update. Nomi does not change the lyrics (e.g. “Don’t say I can’t go with other boys”).

Discography

Albums

* Klaus Nomi 1981
* Simple Man 1982
* Encore 1983
* In Concert 1986

Singles

* You Don’t Own Me / Falling in Love Again (1981)
* Nomi Song / Cold Song (1982)
* Lightning Strikes / Falling in Love Again (1982)
* Simple Man / Death (1982)
* Ding Dong / ICUROK (1982)
* ICUROK / Ding Dong (Canadian 12″)
* Za Bak Daz / Silent Night (CD single, 1998)

Klaus Nomi 1982 Interview:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQ4__PGjFQI

From French TV. With clips from the video of The Nomi Song (not the documentary).

Translation by anonymous:

Interviewer : When you arrived to NY, how did you earn a living?

Klaus : Hum… like Rudolph Valentino*. Hehe, kidding. Well, I did everything, even dirty jobs, like dishwashing or delivery boy for a grocer, delivering flowers, cooking, peeling vegetables… it was a curious story, up to a point it became unbearable. The urge to sing was stronger, so one day I performed in a club and it was very successful ; then I could give up all those dreadful jobs, and devote my time to music.

Interviewer : Why did you choose that name, “Nomi”?

Klaus : It was on inspiration. I think the name sounds good, it doesn’t really have a certain national taste, you know, it could be any nation, because I see myself as universal, not as German, American, French ot whatever you want, cause we are all on this planet, we’re all living on the earth.

Interviewer : It’s not enough for you to be Nomi, you must also wear the Nomi symbol?

Klaus : well you know now I’m in the business, I like to promote myself, ans I think this is a very nice badge, this is my own design.

Interviewer : It was said about you that you were either the 8th wonder of the world, or a tragic accident of the nature. What do you think of this definition?

Klaus : oh it’s wonderful, it’s extraordinary. I hope it’s true.

Interviewer : Who has drawn your costume?

Klaus : I have.**

Interviewer : What does it mean ? (seeing Klaus’ hesitation) Nothing?

Klaus : I don’t know. I hope it means something, people talk about it a lot.

Interviewer : Why this clown-like, cold make-up?

Klaus : I don’t think it’s clown-like, I don’t think it’s cold. It’s very theatrical, very intense. It’s an unnatural make-up, made for stage. It’s like a doll or a cartoon. You see it once and never forget it.

Interviewer : Why are you hiding behind this make-up?

Klaus : I’m not really hiding, I’m showing out, because the way I am it’s hard to look like a normal person. You know, in the streets, when I was a kid, people always said I looked strange, and it made me feel very unhappy. And all of a sudden I go on stage, and people like me for that ; but as soon as I’m outside, I feel like I have to hide, because people laugh at me, because of the way I look. Now I’m using this look, it works for me, I even exagerate it. I used to hide my large forehead, but now I’m selling it.

Interviewer : How do you.. work your voice?

Klaus : I think I do have my own technique, because I’ve been disappointed by teachers, maybe because i didn’t meet the good one. I don’t like to depend on teachers anyway. So I’m walking on my own way, and I try to be as natural as I can. I think it’s the only way to be yourself.

Interviewer : What kind of music do you listen to?

Klaus : Oh… honestly, all of them. You know, I like to try things, to experience, especially with electronic music.

Interviewer : Are tou touched by modern life issues, or do you live in your own world, in your own character?

Klaus : I feel threatened, and sometimes it makes me angry because I can’t do anything about that, there’s just too many issues. But in a way I think my work is meant to get people out of that.

Interviewer : I read that you wanted to be a magical character..

Klaus : Well I think it’s a nice to be a little magical. Today we need this. All that we can read in fairy tales or books, I think somewhere it’s all around us. But nowadays we can think that this magic has been killed, and I try to make it survive as long as possible.

Interviewer : Do you want to become a star?

Klaus : I don’t know what that really means… I want to accomplish my work and fulfil my dreams, and do something with my life, and I hope I’ll be able to accomplish it. It’s very much work, but I like it.