Are You Living Your Dream?

“Are you living your dream? As small as it sounds my dream is only to be content, happy and fulfilled. I am almost there!”

A friend emailed me that and my response was “There are no small dreams. I think everyone’s dream is to be happy and fulfilled – it’s just that different people have different ways of getting that.”

What’s a big dream and what’s a small dream?

People often say “isn’t it great that you get to do what you love” and I say “yes”. But I really don’t know anything else. When I haven’t loved what I was doing – then I would find something else. Are we all like that?

For instance, I remember in my 20’s I was working a lot as a musician in Las Vegas and Nevada. After a while of doing mind-numbing 6 hour sets until four o’clock in the morning I thought “What am I doing with my life?”. As I played I kept picturing myself turning 50 in Vegas – still playing clubs til 4am and withering on the vine.

It became so overwhelming that the whole experience became that for me: watching the grains of sand of the time left in my life just falling away. And yes, that’s literally what I saw! So one day I started calling from my hotel room every contact I had to find something new. And found an audition opening for a pianist at Knott’s Berry Farm at 8am in Buena Park, California.

I mentioned it to a band mate and they said “Too bad you can’t audition for it because we play the night before in Vegas.” But I REALLY wanted to do it.

On the day of the audition I remember finishing my Vegas set at 4am – then hired a friend to drive me from Vegas to Buena Park, CA while I slept in the car. Did the Knott’s audition at 8am and got the gig.

So what’s a big dream and what’s a small dream? To you reading this, playing piano at Knott’s Berry Farm may seem like a very small dream. But for me it was very exciting.

When I was six years old I went to Knott’s Berry Farm and Disneyland with my family. So I had those strong memories. When I played there and saw the families and everyone laughing during the shows – I could remember my own experience as a child too.

So for me it was “doing something” – making memories for people and sharing in that. Making a connection. Maybe that connection is part of what makes something a dream for some people, and not for others.

So now Cirque. Yes, it’s wonderful. I know of no other group that works so furiously hard to make a connection with the audience. We are all being pushed very hard, or I should say “pulled” – because the art is pulling us.

It’s not about getting there, it’s about the striving. Or to say it’s not about the grabbing, it’s about the reaching. How far will you reach?

For me, having happiness and contentment comes when I feel I have purpose and know that I’m being used fully – to me that is part of the recipe for a dream.

What a fun life this is – to ramble about and pretend we know anything. 🙂