Saddam executed. What a sobering day this is. I’m a musician and have little taste for politics; so I have no comment on right or wrong, international justice or our current involvement in Iraq. Who cares what an artist thinks in a world of politics anyway. My profession is the one that paints pictures for the ears. That has nothing to do with the real world or it’s events.
But here’s what one artist, one small feeble mind, has felt in the last 24 hours. Who cares. Sometimes I think the purpose of the arts is to make life bearable. The creation of magic that keeps us inspired to trudge on, to lift our eyes to a higher place. Theology being the perfect match for music, both with the same goals to reach to our depths. Then when life is taken away, the real world futility of the arts is heir apparent.
Gallows, thick rope, men in black hoods. A cross between the French Revolution and a Clint Eastwood western. And there’s the bad guy. So why aren’t I happy? Why do I feel like crying? He’s a bad man, I don’t even know this guy.
Have you imagined you were him and what it was like? I have. Several dozen times. Each time glad that it’s role playing, that it’s not real for me. But it is for him.
Saddam executed. My biggest concern this last week was working out some software bugs and a nagging regret that I didn’t cut down my own Christmas tree this year. Saddam executed.
I heard on Thursday that he would be executed soon. Executed? I thought they were still in trials and execution would be years from now. I’m used to prisoners being on death row for twenty years. No, surely something will intervene.
I hear Friday afternoon that Saddam Hussein will be executed within hours, roughly 7pm Friday my time. It’s about 3pm when I hear the news. The first thing I do is imagine that I am him. What would I be thinking. All this fight, all this time, all this drama – and now it’s a cold and empty feeling.
What can I do? It is what it is. Will it hurt? How will I act? What will my last words be. Do I even care? I’ve met with my family and that’s all done. The world will think what it will and I can have no control over that now. I have no one to have power over now, just me.
Cold concrete and echoing murmurs down the hall. The distant look in people’s eyes. Some with hatred, some with pride, some with compassion. It’s not really my concern, but I look for just one pair of eyes that understands. My concepts of heaven and hell seem like theological grade school games now, religion’s Rubik’s cube for the living. I’ll know soon enough, but now I’m well aware that it may just be a thing made by men.
Life was good overall, I made my mark. History will know me. Maybe I could have gone out a little bigger. Maybe I should have gone down in the streets of Tikrit or Baghdad. That spider hole I hid in was a mistake, I should have stood tall been a martyr. Who cares. It will be what it is now. The world and it’s trivial pursuits are gone. The things that concern you now are no concern of mine. I will be gone, you will go on. Eventually you will be as me so it’s all the same.
Some will rise up, maybe. It’s not my fight anymore.
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I received this prayer request today from my prayer request forum at Christian-Prayers.com today (mispellings are part of the original post):
To whom it may concern
To start I am not a support of this man and his work – but as a fellow human being and sinner – not to his extent but a sinner none the less. I was going to post this but decied not to as to much contraversy of the life and effect of this man, I ask that a pray be said for the soul of Saddam Hussein. I am Catholic and I know he will probley not make it to heaven or
will suffer much, and many peole will say that is a good thing, by I ask that a pray be said for him, his family, that nation, his victoms and their families, and the world as what he had dobne has effected the lives of many. I had just loged onto the internet and that was the headline – that they had hung him. I did not know a desision was made regarding his punishment. I felt a pain in my heart for him and all that has rooted from his deeds – knowing that his death will not resolve all the problems that stemed from him. So I as that a prayer of mercy, healing, and forgivness be said for
all involved.
If you have any comments please feel free to contact me.
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That was the post. Is it right, wrong? I don’t know. I do know that I find myself unable to be immersed in the rapturous joy that some are feeling at the news. I’ve seen the complete execution video on Google video. It struck me as very pedestrian. Not dramatic, not a world ruler being dethroned. Just some guy. Some in the room tried to make it dramatic with shouting before hand and afterwards. But to Saddam it appeared just to be a thing. It is what it is.
Now if they had hired me as MD (Musical Director) on this gig, I could have showed them a REAL execution. Of course there would be snare drums rolling and large kettle drums. Nice ominous cellos and basses complete with an SATB choir joining in a haunting Requiem. We would have timed the finale perfectly for a great crescendo, full orchestra hit, then just the high strings sustaining a single note while Saddam said his last words. Our strings would have plunged and kettle drums roared in perfect time with the drop of the gallows. Dance music and showgirls for the dancing segment, then a compelling romantic theme for the panoramic sweep of the body. Let’s end with a shot of the sky with sun breaking through the clouds and then the full main theme with brass and soaring strings.
Of course I’m being an ass. It wasn’t that. It was boring. It was pedestrian. It lacked pathos. My official review for the Saddam execution is a thumbs down. My point? The drama and pathos in an event is what we cloak it in. The events themselves contain nothing.
Our concepts of heaven and hell do much to bring ourselves solace over the actions of others. A final judgement that awaits the wicked. This seems to me very much to be an invention of the living to make life bearable. If you believe in those absolutes then you have to do nothing to make this world better, it will all be sorted out in the end.
But if you can entertain the thought for an instant that these absolutes may not necessarily be so, then you may be filled with a renewed drive to do what you can NOW to help out the person next to you. Maybe the execution of Saddam is part of that, man’s laws making things better now. Has it?
We have this intoxicating drive to make our lives something grand so that at the final curtain call we have something to show. Our final death. Something dramatic, the weeping, the accomplishments, the length of our resume. But maybe it is just a thing so everyday like brushing our teeth. And maybe the final tally of our life’s events does not happen in the way we expect.
So hug your family, keep your friends close and look what you can do NOW to help. Help what? That’s up to you. But do it now. Don’t wait. Life may fizzle and be a nothing. Let the drama unfold while you can see it.
And if faith draws you. Use that to harness yourself and enjoy the power of humility. Intellectualism is not the opposite of faith, the opposite of faith is hubris. It will take ten thousand to undo the pain that Saddam has created, but undone it will be. Not through his death, but through our living with better intentions.
