I’ve been playing a lot of tennis lately and am a little fuzzy on the rules. My partner and I are not very good so we’ve altered the rules a little bit.
CONRAD’S TENNIS RULES
- “Out of Bounds” means it went over the tennis court fence. Person closest to the gate has to walk out and get it. Note to self: Never take the side closest to the gate.
- Extra Points – Players receive one extra point for each time the ball bounces before return.
- If you totally miss the ball entirely, player must stare at their racket for two seconds to find the hole.
- Every once in a while try to hit the other player with the tennis ball, just to see if you can.
- If sending two balls to the opponent, be sure to send them at the same time so they both reach the opponent at the same time. Then laugh at them that they missed one of them.
- When opponent is collecting balls and has their back turned to you, lob one real high at them.
- If players in the court next to you are competitive seasoned pros, be sure to announce to them “Hey, we’re not very good.” Just in case there was confusion and they had also thought you were a pro. If they respond “We’re not either”, then you know it’s ok to lob balls at them. If they respond any other way, stare at them coldly for being snobs.
- When playing a game, giggle a little bit every time you say “Love All”.
- Everytime you fail to return the opponent’s ball you should yell loudly “Out”; whether it is or not.
- When opponent returns the ball to opposite side of the court from where you are standing, give them “the look” that says “you’re a real jerk.”Eventually they’ll get tired of it and just hit the ball to you.