What’s the difference between a puppy and a singer?
Eventually the puppy stops whining.
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Why do bands have bassists?
To translate for the drummers.
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How do you know when a singer is at your door?
They can’t find the key.
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How many bassists are needed to screw in a lightbulb?
None, the keyboardist does it with his left hand.
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What do a guitarist and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
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Two musicians are sitting in a car. Who’s driving?
The policeman.
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What is a relative minor?
A country & western musician’s girlfriend.
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The difference between a singer and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
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What does M.I.D.I. mean?
Musician In Debt Instantly.
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Difference between guitarist and harmonica player?
Guitarist can yell at the band during his solo.
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Difference between a bassoon and oboe?
You can hit a baseball farther with a bassoon.
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And finally…A young boy says to his mom “When I grow up I’d like to be a musician”. She says, “Now Tommy, you know you can’t do both”.