This Auto-Tune the News stuff is great. Hope you enjoy it. My winner in this for forced-rhyme-of-the-year is “you know it’s unconstitutional to take away a god-given pharmaceutical”. Incidentally, I believe it was Mozart who said there is nothing worse than a forced rhyme. But then again, he never heard the news auto-tuned!

The beat is a lightly remixed version of 100th Sight by Kapluckus (a Gregory Residence band consisting of Constance Waddell, Michael Gregory, Jamie Forrest, Stuart Harrison and Jacob Crigler)

Lyrics:

NG: Hey-ohhhh! Congress! Climate change bill! Let’s get our debate on–1,2,3

MB:
It is time to stand up and say
We get to choose
We get to choose
It’s one of the two
liberty or tyranny

EG: can we please choose something in between? mediocrity?
MG: chastity?
HW: puppetry?
OB: obesity?
JE: marijuanity? pretty please?!

MB: The underlying bill represents the tyranny of the government
It’s our choice, what will we choose today?
Will we choose liberty, or will we choose tyranny?

MG: it all depends–who gets to be the tyrant?
SG: I thought this bill was about the climate

NP: Just remember these 4 words
For what this legislation means
Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs
Let’s vote for jobs
CC: and jobs
NP: and jobs
CC: don’t forget about jobs

Speaker: Those in favor say “aye”.
CC: AAAAYYE!
Speaker: Those opposed, “no”.

JB:
Hell no! Hell no! Hell noooooooo!!
The fight that we have between the 2 sides of the aisle boils down to one word:
JB: freedom
CC: freedom!
JB: freedom
CC: freedom!
JB: freedom that will allow the American people to live their lives
hell no!
Nano Man: hell no!
JB: hell no!
Nano Man: hell no!
JB: hell noooooooo!
Nano Man: hell no!
Let’s allow America to flourish to allow jobs to flourish, and allow freedom to flourish!
hell noooooooo!
———————
SP:
I’m not wired to operate under the same old politics as usual.
With this announcement that I’m not seeking re-election, I’ve determined that it’s best to transfer the authority of governor to Lieutenant Governor Parnell.

RS:
Hey, could she be pregnant?

EG: Pregnant with ideas bout how to run for president!

CW:
Interesting and perhaps successful strategy to win her the presidency.

MG: To win you gotta quit!
EG: To quit you gotta win!
MG: the chips are on the table –
WK: She’s really all in.
But it’s high risk.

JL:
The people who like her
Are still gonna like her
The people who have doubts about her
Are just gonna have the same doubts
EG: No doubt
JL: Same doubts
MG: SHAWTAYEE
All: Same doubts!

———————-
Couric:
What do you do if you have Tylenol and other medications with acetaminophen?

JE: I take a fistful of pills
and get busy mixin em in my gin

What about Vicodin and Percocet? Will they be banned ultimately?

JE: Not if I can help it!
You know it’s unconstitutional
To take away my God-given pharmaceuticals

———————–
BO: I have warned that one day
Michael Jackson would wake up dead
Wake up, wake up dead
Meredith, I had warned everyone–
SG: –He told you so
BO: –one day we’re going to have this experience
I feared this day
And here we are
Keith, people often die
for very strange reasons
They wake up dead
Wake up, wake up dead
EG: wakin up
MG: wakin up
BO: wakin up
KC: wakin up
EG: wakin up is a strange reason to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie
…….whoo!

“Though womenfolk are ashamed to admit to this, nevertheless Scripture and experience show that among many thousands there is not a one to whom God has given to remain in pure chastity. A woman has no control over herself.  God has made her body to be with man, to bear children… He has also ordered man and woman to be in marital union. Suffice it to say that no one needs to be ashamed over how God has made and created him, not having been given the high, rare mercy to do otherwise.”

I can understand why the Catholic church does not care for him even some 500 years later. I can also understand why I find him sometimes frustrating, sometimes embarrassing, and sometimes utterly delightful…

The full letter appears below with the full passages in context translated from the original German.

To Several Nuns
by Martin Luther

From Wittenberg
6 August 1524

Translated from
Briefe aus dem Jahre 1524 No. 733 -756
(Letters of the Year 1524 Nos. 733 – 756)

Weimarer Ausgabe

translated by
Erika Bullmann Flores

To the free nuns, my dear sisters in Christ, written with a
friendly disposition:

Mercy and peace in the name of Jesus Christ our Savior!

Dear sisters, I have received both of your letters and am aware
of your concerns.  I would have answered you sooner if there had
been messengers available, and I also have been very busy.

You are correct that there are two reasons for which life at the
convent and vows may be forsaken: The one is where men’s laws
and life within the order are being forced, where there is no
free choice, where it is put upon the conscience as a burden.
In such cases it is time to run away, leaving the convent and
all it entails behind. If this is your situation, where you are
not freely choosing the cloister, where your conscience is being
forced, then call your friends.  Let them help you escape and,
if the law allows, take care of you or provide for you.  If
friends and parents are unwilling to help, obtain help from
other goodly people, regardless of whether your parents become
angry, die or recover.  For the soul’s well-being and God’s will
are above all, as Christ says (Matth. 10:37): “Anyone who loves
father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me.”

However, if the sisters do allow you to leave, or at least let
you freely read and hear the Word of God, then you must remain
within and join them in their works, such as spinning cooking
and the such, even though you have no confidence in it.

The second reason is the flesh: Though womenfolk are ashamed to
admit to this, nevertheless Scripture and experience show that
among many thousands there is not a one to whom God has given to
remain in pure chastity. A woman has no control over herself.
God has made her body to be with man, to bear children and to
raise them as the words of Genesis 1:1 clearly state, as is
evident by the members of the body ordered by God Himself.
Therefore food and drink, sleep and wakefulness have all been
created by God. Thus He has also ordered man and woman to be in
marital union. Suffice it to say that no one needs to be ashamed
over how God has made and created him, not having been given the
high, rare mercy to do otherwise.  All this you will amply learn
and read and hear proper sermons about when you come out. I have
abundantly dealt with these issues in the book about monastic
vows, avoiding men’s teachings, sermons about
married life, item) in the Postil proven and established as
true. If you read these, you will find enough instruction about
various things, be it confession or whatever.

It is too much to write about here and not al all necessary,
because I am convinced that you will leave the cloister, if one
or both of these reasons pertain to you as you have written.
Once there is freedom in choosing to join an order, anyone who
is so inclined can join. Just so the Counsel of Bern in
Switzerland has opened the most famous Cloister Kînigfelden, and
any maiden can freely leave, remain or move in, and they allow
her to take with her whatever she has brought in. May the Lord
bless you, and pray for me.

Written in Wittenberg,
the day of Sixti Martyris
(Aug. 6) 1524.

Martinus Luther