This Auto-Tune the News stuff is great. Hope you enjoy it. My winner in this for forced-rhyme-of-the-year is “you know it’s unconstitutional to take away a god-given pharmaceutical”. Incidentally, I believe it was Mozart who said there is nothing worse than a forced rhyme. But then again, he never heard the news auto-tuned!

The beat is a lightly remixed version of 100th Sight by Kapluckus (a Gregory Residence band consisting of Constance Waddell, Michael Gregory, Jamie Forrest, Stuart Harrison and Jacob Crigler)

Lyrics:

NG: Hey-ohhhh! Congress! Climate change bill! Let’s get our debate on–1,2,3

MB:
It is time to stand up and say
We get to choose
We get to choose
It’s one of the two
liberty or tyranny

EG: can we please choose something in between? mediocrity?
MG: chastity?
HW: puppetry?
OB: obesity?
JE: marijuanity? pretty please?!

MB: The underlying bill represents the tyranny of the government
It’s our choice, what will we choose today?
Will we choose liberty, or will we choose tyranny?

MG: it all depends–who gets to be the tyrant?
SG: I thought this bill was about the climate

NP: Just remember these 4 words
For what this legislation means
Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs
Let’s vote for jobs
CC: and jobs
NP: and jobs
CC: don’t forget about jobs

Speaker: Those in favor say “aye”.
CC: AAAAYYE!
Speaker: Those opposed, “no”.

JB:
Hell no! Hell no! Hell noooooooo!!
The fight that we have between the 2 sides of the aisle boils down to one word:
JB: freedom
CC: freedom!
JB: freedom
CC: freedom!
JB: freedom that will allow the American people to live their lives
hell no!
Nano Man: hell no!
JB: hell no!
Nano Man: hell no!
JB: hell noooooooo!
Nano Man: hell no!
Let’s allow America to flourish to allow jobs to flourish, and allow freedom to flourish!
hell noooooooo!
———————
SP:
I’m not wired to operate under the same old politics as usual.
With this announcement that I’m not seeking re-election, I’ve determined that it’s best to transfer the authority of governor to Lieutenant Governor Parnell.

RS:
Hey, could she be pregnant?

EG: Pregnant with ideas bout how to run for president!

CW:
Interesting and perhaps successful strategy to win her the presidency.

MG: To win you gotta quit!
EG: To quit you gotta win!
MG: the chips are on the table –
WK: She’s really all in.
But it’s high risk.

JL:
The people who like her
Are still gonna like her
The people who have doubts about her
Are just gonna have the same doubts
EG: No doubt
JL: Same doubts
MG: SHAWTAYEE
All: Same doubts!

———————-
Couric:
What do you do if you have Tylenol and other medications with acetaminophen?

JE: I take a fistful of pills
and get busy mixin em in my gin

What about Vicodin and Percocet? Will they be banned ultimately?

JE: Not if I can help it!
You know it’s unconstitutional
To take away my God-given pharmaceuticals

———————–
BO: I have warned that one day
Michael Jackson would wake up dead
Wake up, wake up dead
Meredith, I had warned everyone–
SG: –He told you so
BO: –one day we’re going to have this experience
I feared this day
And here we are
Keith, people often die
for very strange reasons
They wake up dead
Wake up, wake up dead
EG: wakin up
MG: wakin up
BO: wakin up
KC: wakin up
EG: wakin up is a strange reason to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie
…….whoo!