{"id":1354,"date":"2007-03-11T22:46:42","date_gmt":"2007-03-12T04:46:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.conradaskland.com\/blog\/2007\/03\/captain-hook-joke\/"},"modified":"2007-03-11T22:46:42","modified_gmt":"2007-03-12T04:46:42","slug":"captain-hook-joke","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/captain-hook-joke\/","title":{"rendered":"Captain Hook Joke"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s my new favorite Captain Hook joke. Now you know that us Scandihoovians tell a lot of jokes. However, we make no claim that any of them are actually funny&#8230;..<span class=\"postbody\"><\/p>\n<p>A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, &#8220;Hey, I haven&#8217;t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.<br \/>\n&#8220;What do you mean?&#8221; said the pirate, &#8220;I feel fine.&#8221;<br \/>\nBartender: &#8220;What about the wooden leg? You didn&#8217;t have that before.&#8221;<br \/>\nPirate: &#8220;Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I&#8217;m fine now.&#8221;<br \/>\nBartender: &#8220;Well, okay, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?&#8221;<br \/>\nPirate: &#8220;We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I&#8217;m fine, really.&#8221;<br \/>\nBartender: &#8220;What about that eye patch?&#8221;<br \/>\nPirate: &#8220;Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them did a dump and it hit me in my eye.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;You&#8217;re kidding,&#8221; said the bartender, &#8220;you couldn&#8217;t lose an eye just from bird droppings.&#8221;<br \/>\nPirate: &#8220;It was my first day with the hook.&#8221;\u00c2  <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s my new favorite Captain Hook joke. Now you know that us Scandihoovians tell a lot of jokes. However, we make no claim that any of them are actually funny&#8230;.. A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, &#8220;Hey, I haven&#8217;t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible. &#8220;What do [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,14],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3C0LX-lQ","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1354"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1354"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1354\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1354"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1354"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1354"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}