Here are songs I wrote in 2007 to Roald Dahl’s lyrics \u00a0for Augustus Gloop, Veruca Salt, Mike Teavee and Violet Beauregarde. No lyrics were added to Roald Dahl’s original text, but words were deleted to create songs of reasonable length. For educational use only, to see how existing lyrics can be given different musical treatments.<\/p>\n
SONGS IN MP3 – LISTEN<\/strong><\/p>\n AUGUSTUS GLOOP<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n “Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop! <\/p>\n How long could we allow this beast <\/p>\n Chorus<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n He’s so unutterably vile, <\/p>\n Chorus<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n But don’t, dear children, be alarmed; <\/p>\n Chorus<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n This greedy brute, this louse’s ear, <\/p>\n Chorus<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Great big greedy, great big greedy VIOLET BEAUREGARDE<\/strong> <\/p>\n “Dear friends, we surely all agree <\/p>\n Violet Beauregarde, Violet Beauregarde<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n She chewed while bathing in the tub, <\/p>\n Violet Beauregarde, Violet Beauregarde<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Her brain now hurts from chewing gum <\/p>\n Provided she survives the cure. <\/p>\n Violet Beauregarde, Violet Beauregarde <\/p>\n ***********************************<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n VERUCA SALT<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n “Veruca Salt, the little brute, <\/p>\n (To see the thing completely through, – We’ve polished off her parents, too.)<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n And here, perhaps, we should explain <\/p>\n (A fish head, for example, cut – This morning from a halibut.)<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n A bacon rind, some rancid lard, <\/p>\n (Some liverwurst so old and gray – One smelled it from a mile away,)<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n CHORUS Down goes Veruca down the drain <\/p>\n For though she’s spoiled, and dreadfully so, <\/p>\n (Who spoiled her, then? Ah, who indeed? – Who pandered to her every need?)<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n BRIDGE (Who turned her into such a brat? <\/p>\n They are (and this is very sad) <\/p>\n (And that is why we’re glad they fell – Into the garbage chute as well.)<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Down goes Veruca down the drain (Down goes Veruca down the drain)2x<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n *****************************************************<\/span><\/p>\n MIKE TEAVEE <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n V1 – “The most important thing we’ve learned, <\/p>\n V2 – In almost every house we’ve been, <\/p>\n V3 – They sit and stare and stare and sit <\/p>\n Bridge – IT ROTS THE SENSES IN THE HEAD! <\/p>\n V4 – So please, oh please, we beg, we pray, <\/p>\n V5 – Then fill the shelves with lots of books, <\/p>\n End – P.S. Regarding Mike Teavee, <\/p>\n ***********************************<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Here are songs I wrote in 2007 to Roald Dahl’s lyrics \u00a0for Augustus Gloop, Veruca Salt, Mike Teavee and Violet Beauregarde. No lyrics were added to Roald Dahl’s original text, but words were deleted to create songs of reasonable length. For educational use only, to see how existing lyrics can be given different musical treatments. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,37],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3C0LX-pg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1566"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1566"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1566\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5801,"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1566\/revisions\/5801"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1566"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1566"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1566"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n
\nThe great big greedy nincompoop!<\/span><\/p>\n
\nTo gorge and guzzle, feed and feast
\nOn everything he wanted to?
\nGreat Scott! It simply wouldn’t do!<\/span><\/p>\n
\nSo greedy, foul, and infantile
\n‘Come on!’ we cried, ‘The time is ripe
\nTo send him shooting up the pipe!<\/span><\/p>\n
\nAugustus Gloop will not be harmed,
\nAlthough, of course, we must admit
\nHe will be altered quite a bit.
\nHe’ll be quite changed from what he’s been,
\nWhen he goes through the fudge machine:
\nSlowly, the wheels go round and round,
\nThe cogs begin to grind and pound;<\/span><\/p>\n
\nIs loved by people everywhere!
\nFor who could hate or bear a grudge
\nAgainst a luscious bit of fudge?”<\/span><\/p>\n
\nNin-com……………………. POOP!<\/span>
\n **********************<\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/p>\n
\nViolet Beauregarde, Violet Beauregarde<\/span><\/p>\n
\nThere’s almost nothing worse to see
\nThan some repulsive little bum
\nWho’s always chewing chewing gum.
\n(It’s very near as bad as those
\nWho sit around and pick the nose).
\nSo please believe us when we say
\nThat chewing gum will never pay;<\/span><\/p>\n
\nShe chewed while dancing at her club,
\nShe chewed in church and on the bus;
\nIt really was quite ludicrous!
\nAnd when she couldn’t find her gum,
\nShe’d chew up the linoleum,
\nFor years and years she chewed away,
\nConsuming fifty packs a day,<\/span><\/p>\n
\nMiss Violet’s becoming dumb
\nMight spent her life shut up in some
\nDisgusting sanatorium.
\nAnd that is why we’ll try so hard
\nTo save Miss Violet Beauregard
\nFrom suffering an chewing fate.
\nShe’s still quite young. It’s not too late,<\/span><\/p>\n
\nWe hope she does. We can’t be sure.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nViolet Beauregarde, Violet Beau-Beau-Beau-Beauregarde<\/span><\/p>\n
\nDown goes Veruca down the drain
\n(Down goes Veruca down the drain) 2x<\/span><\/p>\n
\nHas just gone down the garbage chute,
\nTo see the thing completely through,
\nWe’ve polished off her parents, too.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nThat she will meet, as she descends,
\nA rather different set of friends
\nTo those that she has left behind\u00e2\u20ac\u201c<\/span><\/p>\n
\nA loaf of bread gone stale and hard,
\nA steak that nobody could chew,
\nAn oyster from an oyster stew,<\/span><\/p>\n
\n(Down goes Veruca down the drain) 2x<\/span><\/p>\n
\nA girl can’t spoil herself, you know.
\nWho spoiled her, then? Ah, who indeed?
\nWho pandered to her every need?<\/span><\/p>\n
\nWho are the culprits? Who did that?)
\nAlas you needn’t look so far
\n(To find out who the sinners are)<\/span><\/p>\n
\nHer loving parents, MUM and DAD.
\nAnd that is why we’re glad they fell
\nInto the garbage chute as well.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nSo far as children are concerned,
\nIs never, NEVER, NEVER let
\nThem near your television set\u00e2\u20ac\u201c
\nOr better still, just don’t install
\nThe idiotic thing at all.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nWe’ve watched them gaping at the screen.
\nThey loll and slop and lounge about,
\nAnd stare until their eyes pop out.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nUntil they’re hypnotised by it,
\nUntil they’re absolutely drunk
\nWith all the shocking ghastly junk.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nIT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
\nIT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
\nIT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
\nHE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
\nA FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
\nHIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
\nHIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!<\/span><\/p>\n
\nGo throw your TV set away,
\nAnd in its place you can install
\nA lovely bookshelf on the wall.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nIgnoring all the dirty looks,
\nThe screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
\nAnd children hitting you with sticks\u00e2\u20ac\u201c<\/span><\/p>\n
\nWe very much regret that we
\nShall simply have to wait and see
\nIf we can get him back his height.
\nBut if we can’t\u00e2\u20ac\u201cit serves him right.”<\/span><\/p>\n