‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the venue,
\nNot a creature was stirring, as I read the dessert menu,
\nThe decorations were hung on the stage with care,
\nIn hopes that the band members would soon be there!<\/p>\n
My date and I had just been royally fed,
\nWhile visions of a good time danced in our heads,
\nAnd I in my dancing duds and the girl I just met,
\nHad just settled in to watch a four hour set!<\/p>\n
When out in a parking lot, there rose such a clatter,
\nI sprang from my seat to see what was the matter,
\nAway to the door I flew like a flash,
\nTo see a drummer and bassist, completely smashed!<\/p>\n
They were unloading the equipment in the new-fallen snow,
\nFrom the van, which had traveled all the way from Fargo,
\nWhen, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
\nBut the rest of the drunken band, all swilling beers!<\/p>\n
With a little old manager, so angry and quick,
\nI knew in a moment it must be Nasty Nick,
\nMore rapid than eagles his curses they came,
\nAnd he bitched, and shouted, and called them all names!<\/p>\n
“Now, DRUMMER! now, BASSIST! now KEYBORDS! and TRUMPET!
\nOn GUITARIST! on SAX! on TROMBONE! and VOCALIST!
\nTo the top of the loading ramp!\u00c2\u00a0 To the top of the wall!
\nGet the equipment inside before you all fall!”,<\/p>\n
And then, in a twinkling, I heard at the door,
\nThe slipping and sliding as they fell to the floor,
\nAs I gave them a hand and was turning around,
\nI had to wonder at how they might sound!<\/p>\n
The lead singer was dressed in leather, from his head to his feet,
\nAnd his clothes looked very slept in, not at all neat,
\nA bundle of microphones he had flung on his back,
\nAnd he looked like a peddler just opening his pack!<\/p>\n
His eyes – how they twinkled!\u00c2\u00a0 I was becoming quite wary,
\nHis cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry,
\nHis droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
\nAs he took another swig from his bottle of Old Crow!<\/p>\n
He was staggering around as the band tuned up, way off key,
\nI laughed when I saw him, in spite of me,
\nWith a wink of his eye and a flick of his hand,
\nThe group blasted into a tune by some obscure band!<\/p>\n
He sang not a word, but went straight to his mic,
\nHoping he had picked a song the audience would like,
\nThen STOPPED the music just as it was getting noisy,
\nAnd announced “We’re in the wrong club, we’re supposed to be in Boise!”<\/p>\n
They jumped back in their van, amidst jeers and whistles,
\nAnd away they all flew like the down of a thistle,
\nBut I heard them exclaim, ere they drove out of sight,
\n“HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the venue, Not a creature was stirring, as I read the dessert menu, The decorations were hung on the stage with care, In hopes that the band members would soon be there! My date and I had just been royally fed, While visions of a good time […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,3],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3C0LX-De","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2432"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2432"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2432\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2432"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2432"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/conradaskland.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2432"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}