Auto-Tune the News #6: Michael Jackson. drugs. Palin.


This Auto-Tune the News stuff is great. Hope you enjoy it. My winner in this for forced-rhyme-of-the-year is “you know it’s unconstitutional to take away a god-given pharmaceutical”. Incidentally, I believe it was Mozart who said there is nothing worse than a forced rhyme. But then again, he never heard the news auto-tuned!

The beat is a lightly remixed version of 100th Sight by Kapluckus (a Gregory Residence band consisting of Constance Waddell, Michael Gregory, Jamie Forrest, Stuart Harrison and Jacob Crigler)


NG: Hey-ohhhh! Congress! Climate change bill! Let’s get our debate on–1,2,3

It is time to stand up and say
We get to choose
We get to choose
It’s one of the two
liberty or tyranny

EG: can we please choose something in between? mediocrity?
MG: chastity?
HW: puppetry?
OB: obesity?
JE: marijuanity? pretty please?!

MB: The underlying bill represents the tyranny of the government
It’s our choice, what will we choose today?
Will we choose liberty, or will we choose tyranny?

MG: it all depends–who gets to be the tyrant?
SG: I thought this bill was about the climate

NP: Just remember these 4 words
For what this legislation means
Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs
Let’s vote for jobs
CC: and jobs
NP: and jobs
CC: don’t forget about jobs

Speaker: Those in favor say “aye”.
Speaker: Those opposed, “no”.

Hell no! Hell no! Hell noooooooo!!
The fight that we have between the 2 sides of the aisle boils down to one word:
JB: freedom
CC: freedom!
JB: freedom
CC: freedom!
JB: freedom that will allow the American people to live their lives
hell no!
Nano Man: hell no!
JB: hell no!
Nano Man: hell no!
JB: hell noooooooo!
Nano Man: hell no!
Let’s allow America to flourish to allow jobs to flourish, and allow freedom to flourish!
hell noooooooo!
I’m not wired to operate under the same old politics as usual.
With this announcement that I’m not seeking re-election, I’ve determined that it’s best to transfer the authority of governor to Lieutenant Governor Parnell.

Hey, could she be pregnant?

EG: Pregnant with ideas bout how to run for president!

Interesting and perhaps successful strategy to win her the presidency.

MG: To win you gotta quit!
EG: To quit you gotta win!
MG: the chips are on the table –
WK: She’s really all in.
But it’s high risk.

The people who like her
Are still gonna like her
The people who have doubts about her
Are just gonna have the same doubts
EG: No doubt
JL: Same doubts
All: Same doubts!

What do you do if you have Tylenol and other medications with acetaminophen?

JE: I take a fistful of pills
and get busy mixin em in my gin

What about Vicodin and Percocet? Will they be banned ultimately?

JE: Not if I can help it!
You know it’s unconstitutional
To take away my God-given pharmaceuticals

BO: I have warned that one day
Michael Jackson would wake up dead
Wake up, wake up dead
Meredith, I had warned everyone–
SG: –He told you so
BO: –one day we’re going to have this experience
I feared this day
And here we are
Keith, people often die
for very strange reasons
They wake up dead
Wake up, wake up dead
EG: wakin up
MG: wakin up
BO: wakin up
KC: wakin up
EG: wakin up is a strange reason to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie

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