Category: Jokes

I read once that for someone to have good ideas, they need to have a lot of ideas. I like that concept. It’s not uncommon for me to fall flat on my face with really bad ideas, but those that know me know that I have a LOT of ideas. Fortunately, it’s usually the good ones that people hear about.

So here I am humbled before you all, letting you know about two REALLY bad ideas I had once. It was to open two discussion forums for TurbanTalk.com and AlQaedaTalk.com – My idea was for them to be parodies. AlQaedaTalk.com would be a place for Al Qaeda operatives to get emotional support for things like dating, mingling at cocktail parties, getting along with their parents, etc.

I was very serious about opening these sites until more than a couple people mentioned that the parody might be lost on some people and the FBI would probably pay me a visit. That didn’t sound like fun to me, so I never went live with them. I DID however have logos created for them – and here they are as proof of some of my incredibly bad ideas…..

Oh, and if anyone ever questions your IQ – just say to them: “Yeah, I’m not the sharpest burrito in the elevator.” That will usually keep them busy thinking for a while so you can get back to work.

And they say Americans are jaded…..Hmpfff!

A few readers have entertained themselves here with translating my binary code posts, and recently my posts in Japanese. However, I’ve also been working on a new hip hop translator and I think it’s working quite well. Let’s try it on a recent post in one of my forums.

yo i feel u admin homie g…ima post a thread of sum picz wit me and mah boiiz flashin our booz and all dem fine ladiez im rollin wit, then ima out yall, gotta some real shit in life to deal wit, gotta go to tha toilet yall, so peace, one, cyaz….itll be a while, ill keep u posted…

ohh shit that reminded me, im go be all cool and key up all my shit for ma battlez…

TRANSLATION:

Greetings fair administrator. I too have such sympathetic emotions such as yours expressed. Soon I will use Photoshop to optimize some .jpg’s or .png’s of my fraternity brothers and I courting ladies whilst partaking in summer recreational activities. But then lickety split I must hasten back to my studies and freshen up.

Darnitall. It’s been reminded to me that I have forgotten to work on my poetry writing in the style of Emily Dickinson for the upcoming essay contest.

SKINNY DIPPING
An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely: Picnic tables, horseshoe courts, a volleyball court, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look it over, as he hadn’t been there in a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard

voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!” The old man frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.”

Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Old men can still think fast.

That was fast. In response to my Happy Bunny Image Gallery that I posted, my “twisted sister” from the Baffin Islands has sent me some of her favorite buttons in response. These are also great images for MySpace, forums and other social networking websites.

These bunnies make me so happy. I started seeing them on my forums several months ago and now it seems like they are everywhere. And for good reason – these are dang funny! The Happy Bunny joke pictures are used a lot on myspace pages too.

This has got to be one of the best “singles ads” ever.

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I’m a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.

Kiss me and I’m yours. Call *phone number edited* and ask for Daisy.

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Continue……..

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Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society
about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever.