Category: Jokes

For years magic fairies have been doing my dishes. Sometimes the dishes pile up for a few days but the magic fairies always make their way around. I don’t leave food or money for them because fairies don’t eat food and don’t use money. It never occurred to me that there was something I should do because they were always there and I don’t fix what isn’t broken.

So I’m on the road now sitting in my apartment far away from home and can’t help but notice how the dishes are piling up. I let USPS know I was going on the road but wasn’t aware of any particular protocol to let the magic fairies know. Or are they mad at me? Maybe I was supposed to leave money or food after all and nobody told me.

I asked my family about it and they said they would look into it. I received this photo today detailing the tragic death of the magic fairies. This photo shows in detail how they actually clean the dishes…

So there really aren’t magic fairies that do the dishes? If someone had told me this a long time ago it could have saved me a lot of confusion.

But just in case their are magic fairies, can you tell them that I’m in Canada and I need my dishes done?

Doesn’t it seem like there’s always so much to do and so little time to do it in? Before I left for Cirque Du Soleil it seemed like there was a million and one things to do. I was sitting here thinking about all the things I wanted to do but never got around to it before I left.

For instance here’s one thing. My sister has these cute cuddly pets and their just adorable. In typical boring blog fashion – here is a picture of her cat “Snickers”.

Mmm…I think I can find a better photo of snickers. Wait, here’s one from one of her photo shoots – in this shot she’s doing her trademark “Blue Steel” pose:

This will all make sense in a minute, just stay with me. So then my sister also has a dog called “Ginger”. You should know that Ginger pees all over the place and eats her own poop. If you don’t believe me come on over and smell her breath.

So here’s a picture of Ginger:

So one day I was sitting there and neither pet would come when I called them. I think they were out finding poop to eat or something. Then I happened to glance at her microwave and I had an idea…

That’s what I mean. So much to do, so little time.

Look at the cute Eskimo petting the seal. Aw shucks….it’s adorable.

Now visit this really fun web page.

After you’ve read it look at the picture again.

This is an avatar from a member on one of my theology debate forums. It has gone unnoticed by members (and myself). I think that’s kind of funny, and a reminder that we often see what we want to see.

Vrchní velitel povstalecké flotily pocházející z planety Mon Calamari. Než se pøipojil k Alianci, byl otrokem velkomoffa Tarkina. Pøi povstaleckém útoku na Tarkinùv raketoplán byl osvobozen a poté se stal jedním z poradcù Mon Mothmy — efektivnì využíval znalost imperiální taktiky, nabytou pøi své službì v Tarkinovì blízkosti, proti Impériu samotnému. Velitel Ackbar vedl vývoj povstalecké “létající pevnosti” B-wingu — stíhaèky, kterou Aliance odpovìdìla na Nebulon-B fregaty, kterými zaèalo Impérium chránit své zásobovací konvoje pøed povstaleckými nájezdy. Záhy byl povýšen do funkce nejvyššího velitele flotily: z velitele Ackbara se stal admirál Ackbar. Právì on velel flotile pøi útoku na druhou Hvìzdu smrti. Osobnì se zúèastnil bitvy na palubì své vlajkové lodi Home One. Poté, co se ukázalo, že bitva je císaøem pøipravená past, souhlasil se zoufalým plánem generála Calrissiana a nechal flotilu pøiblížit se na minimální vzdálenost k císaøským destruktorùm. Povstalci utrpìli tìžké ztráty, ale podaøilo se jim znièit Vaderùv hvìzdný superdestruktor Executor.

Po Endoru se Ackbar stal èlenem prozatimní rady Nové republiky a dál velel novorepublikové flotile. Bìhem tažení admirála Thrawna byl køivì obvinìn ze zrady a doèasnì zbaven funkce, o dva roky pozdìji vinou sabotáže svého rozšíøeného B-wingu havaroval na pøi diplomatické misi planetì Vortex a znièil unikátní architektonické dílo, vorskou Katedrálu vichrù (èi též Vìtrnou katedrálu). Zahanbený Ackbar se vzdal funkce a odešel do dobrovolného vyhnanství domù do calamarských hlubin, kde zùstal, dokud ho odtud nevyvedla Leia Organa Solo. Ackbar organizoval calamarskou obranu proti útoku admirála Daaly a vrátil se na Coruscant. Jeho jméno bylo oèištìno, když byl jako zrádce odhalen jeho osobní mechanik Terpfen.

Ve funkci zùstal bìhem krize Èerné flotily i corellianského povstání, úspìšnì vedl flotilu proti Pellaeonovì Impériu, které zatlaèoval stále dál do Vnìjšího okraje. Když se pøibližnì 20 let po Endoru stal jeho vìèný politické oponent Borsk Fey’lya prezidentem, úchylil se do ústraní, opìt domù na Mon Calamari. V té dobì vÅ¡ak do galaxie vtrhla nová hrozba Yuuzhan Vongù a stáøím sužovaný Ackbar zaèal znovu, v izolaci a v tichosti vymýšlet plán, kterým by pøispìl k záchranì Republiky.

Photoshopped photos using General Ackbar from Star Wars. And yes, I know it’s actually “Admiral” Ackbar, but most people search it by General.
Abbey Road – Beatles Ackbar

Ackbar – WWII

Ackbar Love Ride 2006

The Graduate – Dustin Ackbar

Sistine Chapel – Ackbar Creation

Little Orphan Ackbar

Ackbar in Red

Minstrel Ackbar

Last Supper Painting – Leonardo d’Ackbar

Mona Ackbar

President Ackbar

OJ Ackbar

Q: How many boring people does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: one…

Funny turkey photo – Turkey hiding

This is kind of fun. Took me a while but I finally found it. You need to click the link so you can see the full pictures. How long does it take you to find it?