More Musician Jokes

How to make a million dollars playing music? Start with two million.

What do you call a beautiful woman on a musicians’ arm? A tattoo.

The difference between a conductor and a bag of manure? The bag.

What happens if you play blues or country backwards? Your wife returns, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of prison.

What is a musician called who only knows 3 chords? A music critic.

How do you keep your guitar from being stolen? Put it in a tuba case.

What’s the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner? You have to plug one in before it sucks.

Rare sight: A lead singer who carries equipment other than a microphone and change of clothes.

The difference between a bull and a lead singer fronting a brass band? The bull has the horns in front and the ass in the rear.

How many Grateful Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb? 12,001. One to change it, 2.000 to record the event and take pictures, and 10,000 to follow it around until it burns out.

Venetian Macao Resort Hotel – China

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The Macau Venetian will be the home to a new Cirque Du Soleil show in 2008. This new casino is Venetian owner Sheldon Adelson’s crowning achievement. He and wife, Dr. Miriam Adelson and his board of directors and the top executives of the Las Vegas Sands corporation all flew out to Macau, the Chinese-governed enclave some 30-minutes from Hong Kong.

On Tuesday (Aug 28), they were all in black tie and Venetian Carnevale attire with Chinese government officials for the 4 p.m. red carpet Grand Opening of his $2-billion Venetian Macao Resort Hotel – his second property there. His new resort building – the first on the new Cotai Strip there- is the largest in all of Asia and the second largest building in the world.

CEO William Weidner commented: “It took Vegas 75 years to emerge as an international destination with so many recognizable brand hotels. We are replicating that feat in Macau in less than three years.”

Wall Street experts believe his new hotel opening will be the biggest success story yet for Macau, and by year-end the staggering total revenues there will exceed not only all of Vegas, but all of Nevada!

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The Venetian Macau mega casino is set to open its doors on the Cotai Strip on August 28th. The owners, Las Vegas Sands Corporation, announced the official opening date of the $2.2 billion casino last week.

The casino and hotel complex is set to rival the standards expected of the casinos based in Las Vegas. Built over 10.5 million square feet, the complex will be the second largest building in the world; second only to the Boeing Plant in Washington.

The casino will house 3000 suites in the hotel, plus a theatre, arena and space for 300 shops. There will also be over 1000 table games and up to 7000 slots for casino lovers, making the complex suitable for both holidays and day trippers alike.

Cirque Du Soleil – Macau, China

 I’ll be playing in the band for the new Cirque show in Macao, China. Check my blog here for related info about Cirque and the show. Sorry, I will not be releasing details until they are released to the public. Check the Sands Venetian Macau website for showtimes and ticket prices.

INFO ABOUT CIRQUE MACAU 

As the popularity of gambling and other forms of entertainment continue to grow in Macau, Macau shows are not far behind. In the past the entertainment Macau featured was focused for the most part on gambling, but with the development of the Cotai Strip, meant to mirror the Las Vegas Strip, Macau will soon be including Macau shows as part of the entertainment Macau features. Cirque du Soleil, the touring act that currently features shows throughout the world, will soon be coming to Macau on the Cotai Strip. Cirque du Soleil Macau promises to bring all of the glamour of other Cirque du Soleil shows to the Cotai Strip.

Cirque du Soleil Macau promises to have an incredible and ornate show in Macau. A theatre with about 1,800 seats will open in the spring of 2008 to house the Cirque du Soleil Macau. Cirque du Soleil has created an entirely new show for the city of Macau, and residents and planners hope that the new entertainment Macau offers will draw even more tourists. The new Cirque du Soleil theatre will be located conveniently on the Cotai Strip and is being created by the Las Vegas Sands Corporation.

Cirque du Soleil tickets for the Macau shows will be available through the Venetian Macau. In addition to the Cirque du Soleil Theater, the Las Vegas Sands will also be building The Venetian Macau hotel in Macau. As with other Cirque du Soleil tickets, Cirque du Soleil tickets for the show in Macau will be available for purchase online, as well. Purchasing tickets online is a great way to reserve a seat ahead of time, although many times discounted tickets can be purchased the day of the show in person.

Although the Cirque du Soleil Macau show will be an entirely new show, there are some common themes that run through all Cirque du Soleil shows. In general, shows feature a central story line and a selection of music usually composed specifically for the story and Cirque du Soleil show. Many attendees have referred to Cirque du Soleil shows as the modern circus. Although they do not feature animals, shows do feature a number of dancers, clowns, trapeze artists, contortionists and jugglers. The music that accompanies the shows is always performed live, another unique aspect of the Cirque du Soleil show.

When the Cirque du Soleil Macau show does open in its brand new theater, the show looks to be quite spectacular. Concepts for the show are already in the works, and the theatre is being built to the specifications of the show. Best of all, guests of the show can stay at a number of a great resorts and hotels on the Cotai Strip. In addition to the Venetian Macau, the Crown Macau, the Emperor Palace Casino and Resort, the Grand Lisboa will be just a few of the great resorts on the strip. A collection of restaurants and duty-free shopping will also be part of the excitement for tourists.

So, whether you travel to Macau for shopping or entertainment or as part of your trip to nearby Hong Kong, the Cirque du Soleil Macau show is shaping up to be a unique and entertaining part of any Macau vacation.

Bye Bye Birdie Trivia

Thank you to Harlan for sending me this trivia on Bye Bye Birdie.

  • The name Conrad Birdie was a play off of the name Conway Twitty, who at the time was more of a rock-and-roller than a country singer.
  • The location of “Sweet Apple, Ohio” was inspired by lyricist Lee Adams hometown of Mansfield, Ohio.
  • Paul Lynde, who played Harry MacAfee, was born and raised in Mount Vernon, Ohio, just south of Mansfield.
  • Famous alumni of Bye Bye Birdie include Tommy Tune, Steve Zahn, Doris Roberts, Rue McClanahan, Gary Sandy, Randy Jones of the Village People, Marc Kudisch, Rachel Bilson, Jeff Trachta, Dick Van Dyke, Chita Rivera, Paul Lynde, Ann-Margret, Bobby Rydell, Jason Alexander, Vanessa L. Williams, Chynna Phillips, George Wendt, and Tyne Daly.
  • Gregory Gai played Conrad Birdie in the 2005 Justin-Siena Theater rendition of Bye-Bye Birdie. At 6’3″ (6’6″ in his three-inch heels), he was the tallest Conrad Birdie in the show’s history.
  • Bye Bye Birdie is often parodied on cartoons, including a “Telephone Hour” parody in Family Guy episode “Petarded” and a “Kids” parody in The Simpsons.
  • Put on a Happy Face was used by Wal-Mart in the 2000s for an advertising campaign with its smiley logo.
  • Rose Alvarez, who hails from Allentown, Pennsylvania in the play plot, is not the only Broadway character to hail from Allentown. In the plot of 42nd Street, up-and-coming Broadway star Peggy Sawyer also is from Allentown.

Freddy Fender Ringtones

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I ran across this picture today from a company advertising “Freddy Fender Ringtones”. I didn’t know whether to laugh or be offended. Here’s a picture of Freddy so you can decide for yourself. Any comments? I’ll just say I don’t ever remember Freddy carrying a boombox on his shoulder…..

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