Barks and Farts for Christmas

A Dog's ChristmasA couple family members weren’t very pleased and a friend really thought I had finally lost it. But my two Christmas CD’s ended up being very strong sellers for the holiday season. I’m hoping someone will promote them heavier next year or pick them up for wider distribution.

Dogs Christmas – We Wish You a Merry Christmas MP3 Sample

Farting Christmas – Jingle Bells MP3 Sample

NOW ONÂ MYSPACE.COM!
Use the dog and fart Christmas songs on your MySpace.com page -Â Select a song at http://www.MySpace.com/Cybermonsters
Yes, it’s The Farting Christmas and A Dog’s Christmas cd collection. Go ahead and laugh, it kept my refrigerator full through Christmas. Ironically these projects were much more difficult to produce than I thought they would be. The tracks were easy enough, just the right blend of tradition and schmaltz without going over the top. But to keep the fart and dog sounds funny and entertaining was pretty time consuming.

A Farting ChristmasI have a rep for being pretty picky about details and this project was no exception. The trick was to keep the sounds from being to repetitive and to give it a feel like dogs really ARE barking right along, or farting right along, with the songs. I felt I had to play them live and a little loose to make it realistic, and obviously without quantization.

The end result was I actually built a complete sample library just for the dogs with various velocity strenghts so I could control the variations, and also two random banks to use for longer notes. I kept listening to it and thought it was finished, then would start from scratch on the sample bank again. It ended up taking about 20 hours to complete the sample libraries so I could execute them live in a way I thought retained the comedy of the whole venture. If it’s not funny, why bother?

As you could probably predict, the Dog’s Christmas CD is the one women like because it’s cute and cuddly. But the guys like the Farting Christmas CD. I’ve had several guys tell me how gross the fart Christmas CD idea is while their wives are around, then when the wives leave they come up and ask me for a copy. 🙂
And for the people that can find absolutely nothing funny about dogs or farts on Christmas songs….well…..sorry dude. I’ll save you time – here the link for Pat Robertson.
Fair warning, if you do happen to purchase a Dog’s Christmas CD – your dogs are going to go absolutely nuts the first few minutes….or hours.

Full CD’s available at Music of Christmas or wholesale at Askland Music Wholesale.

Joel Osteen – Christian Minister or New Thought Activist?

Joel OsteenJoel Osteen fascinates me for many reasons. I’d say I’ve seen about 15 of his televised sermons. When I first saw him I was compelled to sit down and watch his entire sermon. What really struck me is how everything was very easy to digest. I didn’t hear the condemnation or seperatist type statements that seem to be typical of TV evangelists. He didn’t seem “fake”, he seemed very real and present.

But what I also noticed by the fifth sermon or so was a real avoidance of all the hot topics. Basically an avoidance of all the topics that would be an indication of how he approached interpretation of scripture. Are Paul’s letters to the Church in Corinth to be followed, just used as guidelines or written off as cultural comments of the time that have no bearing on today. (Interpretation of Corinthians is my personal benchmark to know how people are approaching interpretation).

At the time I was involved in a “New Thought” church and I heard several people very excited that “new thought is finally being accepted by the Christians”. This was a little red flag to me, because every Christian fundamentalist friend of mine is very opposed to new thought ideas. What a genius man this Osteen is, to be embraced by Christian AND New Thought congregations simultaneously.

History shows me this cannot continue. At one point Joel Osteen will need to make a stand on the beefier issues, and that will create firm dividing lines as to who accepts or does not accept him. These are just my personal opinions, and I could very well be wrong. Just the way I see it.

In a 60 Minutes interview they asked him to make a comment on some of the heavier issues, including sexuality. His answer was to give that Sunny Jim southern smile and say something to the effect of: “Oh no, I don’t want to go there. I want to keep things positive.” Good or bad to do this? The jury is still out I think.

Here’s an interesting blog article on Joel Osteen from the Wesleyian Blog.

And my whole point of this article: It’s very easy in any theology to make everything work when you keep it light and superficial. But when you dig in deep is when people are going to show their real colors and where they stand. For me, I’d rather dig in deep first and see where everything is leading and then get to the superficial “feel good” stuff later. I’d like to know I’m not wasting my time barking up the wrong tree.

If Joel Osteen can keep his ministry going and never make a stand on those very sensitive divisive issues, then my hat’s off to him. He has succeeded in the tight rope act of the century.

Report on the Perversion of Science to Support Mysticism

Report on the Perversion of Science to Support Mysticism – PDF Download

For more info on debuking pseudoscience please visit the James Randi website and also the Skeptic Society with Michael Shermer that hosts regular educational seminars at CalTech Pasedena (Mr. Shermer is a regular contributing writer to Scientific American magazine)

. This is a report I put together in April 2005 detailing a small iceberg’s tip of misinformation and New Age pseudoscience that has crept into the New Thought movement. At the time of the report I had thought I was doing a great service to New Thought and specifically the Church of Religious Science by looking into these subjects more carefully.

I was astonished at the time to find virtually no support whatsoever for what I was doing. In time I came to realize that I myself was the outsider for bringing up these subjects, and that path led to discovering a multitude of twisted ideologies and theologies coming to light.

The powers that be are well aware of this work, which I think is actually a very small beginning and really not even a “report”, more of a compilation of the obvious.

I had contacted James Randi of the James Randi Institute about some of these issues and he quoted me on his site. Shortly thereafter I was contacted by Ann Druyan, widow of Carl Sagan, co-producer of Cosmos and of the movie Contact. She encouraged me to keep the path, and that in time my voice would be heard.

Then e-mails from all over started trickling in, people thanking me for speaking out. Most of them had a funny feeling that something wasn’t quite right about what they were hearing in Religious Science churches, or in New Thought groups where discussions were suddenly turning a little too New Age. These people looked for more info online and found my report.

Here’s the catch: YOU WILL NEVER FIND OUT THIS INFORMATION IF YOU DON’T THINK TO LOOK! Sound too obvious? It wasn’t for me – I watched my whole life fall apart, not knowing why anything wasn’t working – and never ONCE did it occur to me I was on the wrong path. The tools I was using were similiar to sweeping dirt under a rug – I was working on changing my outlook, my vision, on co-creating with spirit on and on…..but nothing was changing.

Well that’s enough on that for now. If things aren’t working, consider at looking to your belief systems.

Oh, another good friend I’ve made after the report release was Michael Shermer, head of the Skeptics Society. I have attended several of the lectures he sponsors down at Cal Tech in Pasadena. These lectures have been worth their weight in gold. Getting the REAL low-down on science research from world renowned scientists at a very reputable college.

All the e-mails I get, only a very few can I post. People are scared. They are scared of making waves, of being confronted within their church, for whatever reason. I do respect that so I don’t repost them. But it’s too bad, because there are a lot of rich stories in those emails and you can feel their pain at realizing they have been deceived.

It’s nice to be able to look back a bit and see that my own personal pain was for a greater good, and that my voice is being heard more and more. Actually, it’s not my voice, it’s the voice of the academic community that has done so much research in these areas. Unfortunately, the general public is not educated strongly enough in these areas to know what information is correct. We rely on our sources for this info.

My discovery is that what the established body of scientific research says in these areas, and what New Thought ministers SAY that the scientific community says, are often two entirely different and opposing viewpoints.

I choose to stand with the science community, as Religious Science has apparently and inescapably veered off into the dangerous realm of the New Age and by all indications I have seen; have no intention of correcting that course.

Why is it important? When people base their life off bad information, they make bad decisions. It very much has dire affects on individual lives and no, I do not think I am taking these areas too seriously. To me, the implications of doing otherwise are sinister, suppressive and devious.

Ask Tech Web Servers Back Online

Our web servers are back online and have finally been stabilized. We may have periodic outages but those will be mainly for upkeep and should be fairly short.

The former tech crew left our servers in a real mess and poor security. This led to a number of vulnerabilities being exploited and our servers being compromised. In addition one of our former techs put servers and certificates in their own name so we actually had to hack in to retrieve our own information. Ironically, the security holes left open allowed us to do this.

A heartfelt thank to our new techs that got everything back in order. It will still take quite a while to get everything in order. Most of our software applications were never finished in 2004 as intended, so that’s the work we begin now. Finishing what we started.

Conrad would also like to thank Nobby and Laura from our Christian forum network. You two have been so helpful through all this. 🙂