Conrad Askland

My friend Olivier came over the other night to show me how to make French crepes. He’s from France, speaks French (better than me) and knows how to say all those cool things like Bon Jour and Si Vouz Plais. Did I spell that right? Hey, how the heck do I know. That’s why he has to show me how to make French crepes the authentic way.

HEY GUYS! I’ve only been cooking for a week now and I was able to make these by myself tonight. It was pretty easy and they taste awesome. So here’s how to make “Olivier’s Super Duper French Crepes”. (Remind me to get a cut on the trademark).  Olivier eats them and he’s pretty skinny – so eat as many as you want. I had about 10 crepes tonight. I will probably be as skinny as Olivier pretty soon now.

Pre-Directions
I played all Mozart on my Ipod while making the crepes. I think you should too. Crepes are regal and fun, just like Mozart. If you listen to any other kind of music your crepes will probably fall on the floor. Also notice that Olivier has one of those cool French style goatees. I think you should grow one of those too. I know it makes the process a little longer, but I think it will be worth it. Now on to the recipe…

OLIVIER’S SUPER DUPER FRENCH CREPES 

Rule #1 – We’re guys, we don’t need no stinkin’ measuring cups. Just throw stuff in.

“Measuring cups? We don’t need no stinkin’ measuring cups.” 

1. Mix three eggs and some flour in a bowl. Maybe a cup of flour, maybe two – what do I know. Mix it till it’s thick like cake batter. The football game is almost on, just make it look like this picture:

2. Add milk until the consistency is like cream you’d use in your coffee. You might use about a half liter or more.

A picture of a bowl and spoon…. just move on…

Olivier here is demonstrating the consistency which is a little hard to see without video footage. To me it looked like cream you’d put in your coffee, which is why earlier I said you should mix in milk until “it looks like cream you’d put in your coffee”. Ok, maybe I could have made these directions shorter. Oh yeah, like you’re in a hurry. You’re looking up recipes on the internet from a guy who doesn’t know how to cook? Oh yeah, you got time…

3. Did I remember to tell you to add a double pinch of salt and a little butter? Or was it just salt? Just throw it in. You like butter don’t you? OK, just do it.

OPTIONAL: Let the batter sit for one to two hours.

4. Everything should be mixed, now put just enough in the pan to cover the bottom. Olivier turns the pan a bit as he puts in the crepe batter so it will spread around. Now I’m lazy and I just glop a bunch in the cover it easy, but my crepes come out more like pancakes. The trick to crepes is that they are thin – so just enough to cover the pan and rotate it to let gravity help you out.

5. You can turn the crepe over when the edges turn a bit brown. I like my crepes a little mushier (more like Swedish pancakes) so I turn them a little sooner.

6. Crepe is  now turned over – Now you can put whatever you want on the top. Remember that you’re going to roll this all up like a little burrito anyway. Here are some things I did with my crepes that were super yummy:

A. Nothing – but added pure maple syrup when finished.
B. One Egg with Salt – crack the egg right on top of the half cooked crepe and mix it around the top. Yes, it will cook fine and continue cooking once rolled up. Add some salt! That’s what Olivier does.
C. Cheese – I also tried the egg with chicken, cheese and sour cream. It was great, but I did get the feeling I was not making Mexican food instead of French.
D. Crepes Suzette! – Squeeze half a lemon over the back and add some sugar.
E. Jam! – The best! Make a line of jam right down the center. I thought this was very close to Swedish pancakes with Lingonberries (my favorite all time food, but no one ever makes it. Now I can!)

Viola! The finished crepe.

Now I’m going to warn you about the dark side of making crepes. While making them I noticed that the time it took to cook the first side of the crepe was the exact amount of time it takes me to eat the last crepe I just made. So I went on a crepe making binge and now I have a tummy ache. Maybe you should invite people over so you don’t eat them all yourself.

Another tip – Olivier prefers butter over margarine. I tried both and I’d have to say he’s right – use real butter.

Extra Secret Bonus Tip – Olivier had authentic Canadian maple syrup, and I just used regular pancake syrup. BIG difference – get the top shelf syrup if you’re going to eat them that way.

EXTRA EXTRA BONUS TIP – If you’re going to do a crepe binge like me, start with the salty ones first (chicken, egg, etc.) and then move on to the sweeter ones. A progressive crepe bonanza.

Bon Appetite! 

Olivier and Conrad – Chefs du Jour