This was posted on one of my forums by a 15 year old. I started reading it expecting some horrible self indulgent drivel. What I read instead is very beautiful I think. Not telling anyone what to do, just sharing it as food for thought.
TIPS FOR PARENTS FROM A 15 YEAR OLD
Lesson One – When your child asks you to explain something, please explain it. If you don’t, their friends will. *This was edited because it contained many four letter words, which were examples of things you should explain if asked*
Lesson Two– No matter how many Blockers, firewalls, programs, or even if you do not have a computer in your home, you kids will see porn before they are 15 years old. Most times it will be earlier. My first experience was with a pop up I clicked. I was 9. Yay. You can do nothing about it. Face that reality. It would be nice if you had talked to them about sex before they are exposed to that.
Lesson Three– Your kids will have secrets. You were akid. You know that. It may kill you as a parent, but they will not tell you everything, no matter how close you are.
Lesson Four– In that magical moment when you kid actually comes to you and wants to talk, listen. Please. Communication is key. Don’t interrupt them, nomatter how horrified you are at what they may be telling you. They are alive and talking to you, so they obviously survived whatever it was. LISTEN. Do not judge.
Lesson Five– Do whatever is necessary to have your kids trust you. Would you rather them get in a car drunk after a party because they’re terrified of what you’ll do to them, or would you rather them call you to come pick them up? You kids will probably do some stupid stuff. Teach them their lesson once everything is calm.
Lesson Six– I think this one is hard for parents to accept. Your kids are NOT you. They have their own minds, opinions, ideas about the world. You may teach them, live a certain way, do certain things, but in the end, what if they turn out to not follow those beliefs? What if they believe in the exact opposite of what you believe? Are you gonna disown them? Hopefully not. If they come to you and say something outrageous, let them explain everything, and them put in your two cents. Hopefully you can all learn to love each other for Who You Really Are. (I got that one from Conversations with God.)
Lesson Seven– Your kids will learn as much or even maybe more about things from their friends than from you. You can’t change that. You may hate their friends, but making them stop associating with them will only make things worse, most of the time. You can’t control you kids. Well, you can try, but they’ll hate you for it. In my experience with people in my school, anyway….you don’t want your kids to rebel.
Lesson Eight– You do not have all the answers. Kids need to figure a lot of things out on their own. Teach them about the world, about drugs, about sex. Give them the information they need for life. Tell them to stand up for what they believe in, and to never give up. We may hate you for all you do, we may be furious and not talk to you for a week, but we all secretly know that almost all you do is because you love us and want to see us succeed.
Above all, love your children with all your heart.