Muahaha! My friend from the Great White North just sent me this. Now you need to realize that I recently posted an entire gallery of Happy Bunny graphics, and also conducted Brigadoon (including bagpiper) wearing a kilt – So this is all that craziness combined. Thank you!
SKINNY DIPPING
An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely: Picnic tables, horseshoe courts, a volleyball court, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look it over, as he hadn’t been there in a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard
voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!” The old man frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.”
Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”
Old men can still think fast.
OsCommerce 2.2 Download Mod – Problems with:
I’m posting this here off the support forums because the search functions wouldn’t allow me to search and find this fix, I had to find it on Google. Assuming others are doing the same, here it is. Keyword help to find this: Osc MS2, Super Download Mod, error, problem, downloads expiry, no link not showing unable to download.
Within download.php in modules I changed the following:
FROM:
$downloads_query = tep_db_query(“select o.orders_status, date_format(o.last_modified, ‘%Y-%m-%d’) as date_purchased_day, opd.download_maxdays, op.products_name, opd.orders_products_download_id, opd.orders_products_filename, opd.download_count, opd.download_maxdays from ” . TABLE_ORDERS . ” o, ” . TABLE_ORDERS_PRODUCTS . ” op, ” . TABLE_ORDERS_PRODUCTS_DOWNLOAD . ” opd where o.customers_id = ‘” . (int)$customer_id . “‘ and o.orders_status >= ‘” . DOWNLOADS_CONTROLLER_ORDERS_STATUS . “‘ and o.orders_id = ‘” . (int)$last_order . “‘ and o.orders_id = op.orders_id and op.orders_products_id = opd.orders_products_id and opd.orders_products_filename != ””);
TO:
$downloads_query = tep_db_query(“select o.orders_status, date_format(o.date_purchased, ‘%Y-%m-%d’) as date_purchased_day, opd.download_maxdays, op.products_name, opd.orders_products_download_id, opd.orders_products_filename, opd.download_count, opd.download_maxdays from ” . TABLE_ORDERS . ” o, ” . TABLE_ORDERS_PRODUCTS . ” op, ” . TABLE_ORDERS_PRODUCTS_DOWNLOAD . ” opd where o.customers_id = ‘” . (int)$customer_id . “‘ and o.orders_status >= ‘” . DOWNLOADS_CONTROLLER_ORDERS_STATUS . “‘ and o.orders_id = ‘” . (int)$last_order . “‘ and o.orders_id = op.orders_id and op.orders_products_id = opd.orders_products_id and opd.orders_products_filename != ””);
Its actually a very small change: Within the quiry I changed “o.last_modified” to “o.date_purchased”.
Found a great file compare program called WinMerge. It’s available for free download. Google it or checkout download.com. Use it to see two files side by side as it highlights the code differences between the two files.
Great for adding mods and updates to software. I’m using to modify new software releases with older version mods. It’s saving countless hours in php coding. Highly recommended.
We had very strong auditioners for all roles in the Rocky Horror Show. Thanks to all who auditioned. We have multiple people to choose from for every single role, which is a nice surprise considering how demanding some of the roles are for acting and vocal chops. Cast list will be posted Sunday at http://www.theaterartsguild.org
Auditions for a new show are being held in Albany, New York on 8/11/07 and again Saturday, 8/18/07. They will be held at the Envy Lounge, 55 North Pearl Street, Albany New York. We are looking for circus and variety performers. Contact 518-929-7236 or visit myspace at: http://www.myspace.com/cirquevienocturne
I guess I am simple minded when it comes to the inspiration for why I am in the arts. I have had several conversations with various people in the recent past where they told me the deep seated motivation behind their work in the arts. Concepts from educating the public on social issues to, shocking people into the reality of the state of our world; and many other noble concepts.
Shallow as it may seem – it is entertainment to me. The arts are a way for us to transcend every day living and go somewhere else for a while. A place to be happier, darker, lighter, heavier than we could ever be in the real world. I used to have a t-shirt that said “Art is more important than life.” It certainly is better than everyday life.
I’m proud to be part of that, but have no grand social statement to make through art.
Why am I so superficial about my life’s work? Because it happens on it’s own. In the cracks and crevices of what we attempt to create; things are created that acheive their own social statements without our help.
If you call me up to go to a show and say “This is a social commentary on the state of our world”, I’ll only go begrudgingly. I would much rather see Mary Poppins. I am part of the general audience too. That general audience sometimes referred to as “the masses”, “the uneducated”, “the stupid”. And I want to feel something that moves me.
My experience has been when we try to steer with grand things to say – we fall flat of our intentions. But when we just let art flow and do our thing – a great many people are moved in ways we could never have anticipated.
That is the reward. And one we do not control.
Well, like everyone else I had to try it. Go to SimpsonizeMe.com to upload a photo of yourself and “Simpsonize” it into a character like you would see in the Simpsons cartoon show. The website is pretty fun with entertaining animations as you work on it. They will step you through the process in a fun, non-technical way.
They show your photo as a flash animation which is a headache (read: impossible for most) to convert to .jpg or .gif. If you just want a .jpg format that you can post on the web or MySpace (like I did here) – then use your “Print Screen” key and crop the sc Ieenshot down in your favorite image editing program. If you don’t have PhotoShop you can download PhotoPlus for free from download.com to perform all your image editing, optimization and formatting of images.
Many of the backgrounds you can add to the photo have the Burger King logos. It was a good move by Burger King to NOT include their logo on the main solo pic. That does a lot for public goodwill and keeps the whole Simpsonize experience fun and fairly non-commercial.
Hey, it worked. I kind of feel like going to Burger King now…..
I like Richard Dawkins and think he has some great things to say. He challenges faith, and in my book that’s a healthy thing to do.
But here’s a Richard Dawkins joke I heard and I wanted to share it with you:
Richard Dawkins was having an argument with God, and said: “With the state of knowledge today, I can make man from dust too.”
“OK,” said God, “go ahead.”
So Dawkins starts.
God then says: “No, no, you don’t understand. Go get your own dust.”
🙂