“Curiosity is the most powerful thing you own,” he said. “Don’t put limitations on yourself. Other people will do that for you…failure has to be an option in art and exploration because it’s a leap of faith.”
“In whatever you’re doing, failure is an option, but fear is not.”
– James Cameron – TED Talks 2010
Just read these words today and they hit me so strong. Like if you’re reading the bible and a verse jumps out and you think God is speaking directly to you.
Personally I have my own daemon (daemon – not “demon”) tormenting and taunting me on a personal artistic project and I keep backing away from it because I am afraid of failure. If it fails it hurts no one. The only price paid is my personal time which I gladly give. But I’m shackled by other self imposed commitments that force me to put it on the back burner. All really an excuse for the truth: I am afraid to fail at this project. (It is a personal side project – nothing to do with current work).
I remember being maybe four or five years old and taking swim lessons at the Samena club in Bellevue, WA. Our final exercise was to jump off the diving board. Most of the kids jumped but a few of us were afraid. So then the instructor swam out below the board to catch us and the rest went – except for me. To my dramatic child’s memory it took me years to get the courage to finally jump off the board (was actually probably a couple days). Even then I was embarrassed that our swim teacher had to catch me. The look in her eyes trying to be patient but really exasperated “Just jump kid!”. I finally did it, but I have no grand memory of a moment of glory.
I think about that experience often and my memory is not one of triumph that I confronted my fears and conquered them. My memory is embarrassment and shame that I did not just jump. It make me mad – I do not want to be the person that doesn’t jump. I saw other kids do it. Surely the adults could be trusted. But I hesitated. Someone else with the same experience might remember the glory of following through. But I remember wasting people’s time as I faltered.
When I look back on the times in my life I really put myself out there and failed; I have to admit I’m very proud of those walks. And when I ask myself if I wish I had not tried so as to not know the feeling of failure – my answer is always no. Because in my heart I just HAVE TO KNOW if I can do it. I cannot live with the regret of not knowing.
I have had great falls in my life. The kind of falls where everyone around you writes you off as “finished and done” – and you realize you have few friends. And those are the moments I truly treasure. They are my secret treasure.
So I read those words by James Cameron and it reminds me again of the thrilling ride of failure as a consequence for really taking a chance and putting yourself out there. And that brings me back to my project: To know it’s failure as a result from giving it my all will be another secret treasure to add to my memory box.
And if it succeeds? Well, the counterpart to having many failures is that I have also had many successes. Usually also as a result from taking a chance and giving it my all. And I’ll tell you the memory of success also happens to be a treasure. 🙂
I guess I should add that the post-op after a fail is the most important time. For me, I just be still and wait for the next calling. And that next call always comes. Later when I connect the dots of my life it is an amazing puzzle of dots and I can say “Wow, for this to happen I had to fail here and that brought me to this and then this brought me over here” and on and on. So personally I need to follow through so the next fail can propel me forward – or (crossing fingers) the success can propel me forward.
Thank you Mr. Cameron for inspiring words at a time when someone needs to hear them.
Because in the end it’s not the sting of failure that you remember. What you remember is that you put yourself out there and gave it your all. That’s the treasure…
Amen.