More Musician Jokes

What’s the difference between a puppy and a singer?
Eventually the puppy stops whining.

.
Why do bands have bassists?
To translate for the drummers.

.
How do you know when a singer is at your door?
They can’t find the key.

.
How many bassists are needed to screw in a lightbulb?
None, the keyboardist does it with his left hand.

.
What do a guitarist and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

.
Two musicians are sitting in a car. Who’s driving?
The policeman.

.
What is a relative minor?
A country & western musician’s girlfriend.

.
The difference between a singer and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.

.
What does M.I.D.I. mean?
Musician In Debt Instantly.

.
Difference between guitarist and harmonica player?
Guitarist can yell at the band during his solo.

.
Difference between a bassoon and oboe?
You can hit a baseball farther with a bassoon.

.
And finally…A young boy says to his mom “When I grow up I’d like to be a musician”. She says, “Now Tommy, you know you can’t do both”.

The Ins and Outs of Compression

Compression is an essential tool in studio and live sound engineering. Here is a great article by Chalan Thibodeaux on The Ins and Outs of Compression.

Chalan explains hard knee vs. soft knee, ratio, attack, threshold and release. Great article. I’m happy to answer questions if any aren’t addressed in the article.

713426633_l.jpgThe writer, Chalan Thibodeaux is from Lafayette, Louisiana. Great article Chad!

Cantabile Choir with David Cross

cantabile.jpgMount Vernon, WA – The Cantabile Choir conducted by David Cross kicks off its inaugural season with a performance on December 1st, 2006 at First Christian Reformed Church.

Let it be known the Skagit Valley has a new crown jewel for vocal music. Cantabile and David Cross have joined forces to appease the most demanding chamber music fans.

The singers were excellent, especially for their first concert. Hmmmm….. that statement doesn’t do it justice. I was able to get lost in the beauty of their sound; my eyes transfixed to a higher beauty. THEN I discovered this was their first concert. WOW.

The vocals were blended well by David Cross, especially between the altos and sopranos. I would take a guess the group has spent a fair amount of tiime on pronunciation, because with only a couple exceptions the pronunciation was even and balanced throughout the entire group.

cantabile-david-cross.jpgDavid Cross has a powerful presence which captivates me. He has a very sturdy classical air, yet I always think at any moment he is going to do something wild and crazy, ala Monty Python or PDQ Bach. Maybe that’s more of a reflection of my sense of humor. If David Cross picks some PDQ Bach music for a concert, then I will consider that I have won the bet. His imagination and insight into music selection alone gives hint of future creativity we can expect to see from Cantabile under his capable hand.

.
The choice of music was excellent and kept our interest during the performance. David Cross explained that the flow of music was to herald in the beginning of advent in a more traditional way, then gently lead into Christmas songs and lighter faire.

One piece in particular that was spellbinding was Cantabile’s treatment of “Lux Aurumque” by Eric Whitacre. ( Real Audio link for Lux Aurumque. I have never heard chord patterns delivered in quite that fashion before, it was like an entire new musical language was being presented. It’s overtones were so mysterious; the changes so mystic. This may have been a performance that will never be repeated in strength of beauty and tone. At first the overtones that crept in were so thick, I half wondered if it was intentional. In finding out more about the piece, it was indeed the intentional craftsmanship of David Cross, a master of detail. You can listen to the Real Audio link of the piece, but I tell you that life is unfulfilled until you have heard it performed well live. More Info about Eric Whitacre.
.
I am partial to chamber music. For chamber music fans it would appear that Cantabile will be the premiere vocal group in Skagit Valley. I applaude David’s foresight to start a group like this. Cantabile is one of those groups that makes life all the more richer for all of us.

WORKS PERFORMED

Gloria in D, RV 589
Antonio Vivaldi

Hodie Christus Natus Est
Mark Hayes

What Sweeter Music
Robert Herrick and Michael Fink

The Blessed Son of God from “This Day”
Ralph Vaughan Williams

Some Children See Him
Wilhla Hutson and Alfred Burt
Arr. by Jay Rouse

Coventry Carol
Arr. Darmon Meader

All On a Starry Night
Paul Williams and Joseph Graham

Ziua Ninge
Vasile Alecsandri and George Dime

Lux Aurumque
Edward Esch and Whitacre/Edward Esch

Sleigh Bells
Arr. Earlene Rentz

Merry Christmas Mozart
Arr. Jay Althouse

Bidi Bom
David Eddleman

Go Where I Send Thee
Arr. Paul Caldwell/Sean Ivory

David Cross – Cantabile Conductor

cantabile-david-cross.jpg

Lynne Rheinhardt – Co-Founder of Cantabile
cantabile-lynne-rheinhardt.jpg

Karen Rentko – Accompanist
cantabile-karen-rentko.jpg

CANTABILE SINGERS

SOPRANO
Leah Fringer
Ludia Randall
Lynne Rheinhardt
Debra Rupert
Lois Vander Meulen

ALTO
Lu Anne Hargis
Dani Keller
Ginny Ramey
Judy Sjerven
Anne Will

TENOR
Dave Browning
Tom Ochiai
Robert Slabodnik
Paul Trautman

BASS
Don Cross
Kevin Maas
Gary Ramey
Dan Rupert

Norwegian Christmas Song – Jeg Er Sa Glad

Jeg Er Saa glad was composed in 1859 by Peder Knudsen with lyrics by Marie Wexelsen. For me it is the pinnacle of Norwegian Christmas songs both because of it’s popularity and simplicity.

I remember very well as a young child in Seattle attending the Sons of Norway Sumnerslaget Christmas celebration. Hundreds of salty Norwegians would sing this song in chorus. What a beautiful sound that I quite took for granted.

Lyrics in English and Norwegian Posted Below
Jeg Er Sa Glad -Sheet Music.pdf
Jeg-er-sa-glad.mp3 – Melody Sample
jeg-er-sa-glad.mp3
This song is performed well by choirs from both St. Olaf and Pacific Lutheran University. You will find CD’s easily online if interested.
Imagine my utter shock to see these lyrics posted on a website under the general classification of “Scandinavian”. You should know that although us Norwegians are quiet, boring and stale – we are fiercely proud of our heritage. Do not count the Vikings out as they may emerge again for global domination. Norskes do not consider “Swedish” and “Danish” as a complete trilogy of our heritage as many assume. We are our own people – thick headed, muleish and the bravest of the brave.

You should also know that although Ballard, WA (largely Norwegian population) is a suburb of Seattle, very few Norskes will admit this fact. Norskes refer to Seattle as a suburb of Ballard.

PERFORMANCE
Jeg Er Sa Glad is usually written in 3/4 or 6/8 time, but has a gentle lilt that suggests 6/8. Think of falling snow, gently swishing your skis down the slope side to side – and you will have the correct feel for this traditional Norwegian Christmas song.

.

NORWEGIAN LYRICS
Jeg er så glad hver julekveld,
for da ble Jesus født,
da lyste stjernen som en sol,
og engler sang så søtt.

Det lille barn i Betlehem,
han var en konge stor
som kom fra himlens høye slott
ned til vår arme jord.

Nå bor han høyt i himmerik,
han er Guds egen Sønn,
men husker alltis på de små
og hører deres bønn.

Jeg er så glad hver julekveld,
da synger vi hans pris:
da åpner han for alle små
sitt søte paradis.

Da tenner moder alle lys,
så ingen krok er mørk;
hun sier stjernen lyste så
i hele verdens ørk.

Hun sier at den lyser enn
og slukkes aldri ut,
og hvis den skinner på min vei,
da kommer jeg til Gud.

Jeg holder av vår julekveld
og av den herre Krist
og at han elsker meg igjen,
det vet jeg ganske visst.

ENGLISH LYRICS TRANSLATION

1. I am so glad each Christmas Eve,
The night of Jesus’ birth!
Then like the sun the Star shone forth,1
And angels sang on earth.

2. The little Child in Bethlehem,
He was a King indeed!
For He came down from heaven above
To help a world in need.

3. He dwells again in heaven’s realm,
The Son of God today;
And still He loves His little ones
And hears them when they pray.

4. I am so glad on Christmas Eve!
His praises then I sing;
He opens then for every child
The palace of the King.2

5. When mother trims the Christmas tree
Which fills the room with light,
She tells me of the wondrous Star
That made the dark world bright.

6. She says the Star is shining still,
And never will grow dim;
And if it shines upon my way,
It leads me up to Him.

7. And so I love each Christmas Eve
And I love Jesus, too;
And that He loves me every day
I know so well is true.

Words: “Jeg Er Saa Glad Hver Julekveld,” Marie Wexelsen, 1859; translated from Norwegian to English by Peter Andrew Sveeggen (1881-1959). Wexelsen (1832-1911) published three children’s books, among them Ketil, en Julegave for De Smaa (“Ketil, a Christmas Gift for Little Ones”), where this Christmas carol introduced a longer story. At that time she entitled it “The Child’s Christmas Carol.”

Music: “Jeg Er Saa glad” (“Christmas Eve”), Peder Knudsen (1819-1863), 1859

How to make a wind recording

conrad_snow_recording.jpgRecording real wind sounds and thunderstorms are some of the most difficult field recordings to capture. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone on wild goose chases in the middle of storms trying to get the ultimate field recording. Big Bear, California was one place I traveled to a half dozen times alone. I always felt very tricked by Mother Nature. As soon as I would finally scout the perfect location, conditions would change and the moment was lost.

THE GEAR
For field recording I use a quality stereo microphone (around $1,000) and portable DAT recorder. I’ve been doing field recordings for a long time now and there might be updated gear like portable CD recorders you can use now. But I’m used to the DAT recorders and like the sound quality. I prefer Shure and Tascam products for my field recording.

THUNDER
By the time you hear the thunder, it’s probably too late to get your recording. Since thunder is usually accompanied by rain, the optimum recording would be as a storm is approaching you. Here you can get the thunder sound without the interfering rain sounds. Getting wet is a major issue. This may not seem like much as you’re sitting in front of your computer reading this, but when you’re out in the middle of the yuck it is most definately a problem.

Wrap your recording gear in plastic, and then cover the plastic with a soft material like a blanket. Yes, your blanket is going to get soaked. The plastic is going to make sound as the rain hits it, so using a soft cloth will lessen the water sounds. I’ve tried recording before through car windows, but there’s too much interference from rain hitting the car. I would suggest recording out the trunk, with a blanket over the trunk for a thunderstorm. It’s not pretty, but I did capture an excellent thunderstorm in Southern California using this technique, until the rain got too heavy.

If you are doing historical archive recording then what you get is what you get. But if you are doing nature sound recordings for multimedia, keep in mind your finished product should be what the listener expects the sound to be. Real wind is not pretty – most people want to hear that sweet whistling sound. Give them what they expect, that’s the challenge.

Alternately you can improvise a “lean-to” for your gear. With thunder recordings one problem is your microphone needs to be up a bit to capture the thunder. This bares the microphone to the elements. Create a lean to with a blanket, your gear covered in plastic and find a natural location that will shield from the wind. You’ll need those low end frequencies for a good thunder recording and won’t be able to roll off those low wind howls later in mastering.

WIND
I never realized how different real wind is to capture for recording until I tried to do it. We are used to hearing wind with our ears feeling the pound of the low rumble. On an audio recording this comes across as distortion, not a pleasant sound like it is to our ears. The trick in wind recording is not to actually record the wind, but to record the wind interacting with another surface.

Good locations for wind recordings can be corners of buildings or cracks in walls. This will give you the whistle and howl timbres that most people associate with the sound of wind. One great place for wind recording is the top of a ski slope next to a utility shack. You’ll get some great howling at that location.

Shield yourself from the actual wind so you can get decent levels for your recording. If you try to actually record directly into the wind, you’ll get such a decibel rush that your low levels won’t have the levels you need in mastering.

Hope that helps. Nobody said field recording would be pretty.

Conrad Askland is an audio producer and field recording engineer.

Ria Peth Stunnning in Hello Dolly

hello-dolly-ria-peth.gifLa Conner Schools and Community Presents Hello Dolly! November 17-19, 2006.

“Stunning” is the word for Ria Peth’s role as Dolly in this production of Hello Dolly. She came out on stage with energy at TEN and stayed there through to the final bow. Ria is very versatile, but this role of Dolly simple “is” Ria Peth. Her delivery was so natural it did not feel like watching a show.

She was well supported by the cast – with many of them standouts in their own right. Steve Burks as Horace Vandergelder also seemed made for the role, his acting ability is on par with any equity performer in my opinion.

John Baker as Cornelius Hakl and Luc Van Pelt as Barnaby Tucker were solidly cast as the well meaning, good hearted, bumbling dynamic bachelor duo. Both roles were very believable and they played off each other like seasoned vaudeville performers.

The Maitre D’ was side splittingly funny – I apologize I don’t know the name of that role. It was a great surprised to have such a strong actor appear in the second half of the show.

My hat is off to pianist Ramon Hayes. I never heard a moment where music was off from the singers, he guided well and has a seasoned commanding presence at the piano. Bravo!

I’ve only lived in Skagit County now for 8 months, but this is the funniest show I’ve seen up here yet. NO dead spots in the show.

Ria, you are incredible – the room was full of your fans this evening (myself included!) and deservedly so.

Hello Dolly Cast

hello-dolly-cast.jpg

Ria Peth as Dolly

hello-dolly-ria-peth.gif

Dolly Gallagher Levi – Ria Peth
Horace Vandergelder – Steve Burks
Cornelius Hackl – John Baker
Barnaby Tucker – Luc Van Pelt
Minnie Fay – Courtney Blunt
Irene Molloy – Jacqueline Monaghan
Ambrose Kemper – Justin Woods
Ermengarde – Kendall Dubuque
Ernestina – Sara Harlan
Rudolph Reisenweber – Lawrence Welk
Stanley – Dave Hedlin
The Waiters – Dave Ehman, Jon Skifflington, Dick Painter, Ed Markus, Steve Vanderpool

Cook – Sally Dixon
Judge – Brendon Huddleston
Policeman/Paperhanger – John Markus
Court Clerk – Mary Hedlin
Mrs. Rose – Jan O’Leary
Townspeople – Linda Nelson, Mary Hedlin, JoAnne Mason, Turine Higgins, Gail Bruce, Dave Hedlin, Ed Markus, Steve Vanderpool, Dick Painter, Brendon Huddleston

Children – Bailey Cunningham, Patrick Filler, Anna Bruce, Cydney McFarland, Alex Wirth, Kyle Wirth, Dylan Watkins, Ashley Watkins, Shane Berrios, Aubrey Stewart, Sam Dixon, Jack Dixon, Grace Malcomson, Morgan Harlan, Emily Markert

THE CREW

Producer – Tim Bruce
Director – Maureen Harlan
Music Director – Shegay Vanderpool
Pianist – Ramon Hayes
Stage Manager – Jennings Hart
Choreography – Cyndee Meister
Seamstress – Mary Ann White
Dressers – Anne Van Pelt and Debbie Blunt
Hairdress – Marianne Meyer
Set Construction – Charles Talman, Lyle Johnson, Marty Chamberlain, Mike Holt, Bob Coe, Bob Strickert, Mit Harlan, Michael Harlan

Lights – Vicki Jones, Charles Talman, Susan Erickson
Program and Publicity – Sara Harlan, Leah Chamberlain

Nocturnes for Piano

085407410126.jpgMy Piano Nocturnes! I had forgotten about them. While doing sound effects for Peter Pan I needed a melancholy lullabye played on piano for the final scene – didn’t quite have time to compose a piece for it and then I remembered: The Nocturnes!

These were all improvised live in a church sanctuary deep in the night. These are my original pieces. One starts off like Moonlight Sonata, but takes a different path.. You will definately hear the Bach influence on the pieces. I am very proud of them and if you don’t like them, then you are a stinky codfish.

My favorites are #1 and #2 – I put them first so I wouldn’t have to waste time on the CD to hear them.

Piano Nocturne 1 – MP3

Piano Nocturne 2 – MP3

Piano Nocturne 3 – MP3

Piano Nocturne 4 – MP3

Piano Nocturne 5 – MP3

Piano Nocturne 6 – MP3

Piano Nocturne 7 – MP3

Piano Nocturne 8 – MP3

Piano Nocturne 9 – MP3

Piano Nocturne 10 – MP3

Piano Nocturne 11 – MP3

Piano Nocturne 12 – MP3

Piano Nocturne 13 – MP3

Piano Nocturne 14 – MP3

My friend Deb Carole sat in the Sanctuary while I played these and would give me input. It was a great evening and a memory I treasure. I improvise a lot like this late at night in a sanctuary, but this is the only time I recorded. Someone asked me recently if I ever practice at church late at night and just go nuts. The answer is yes, all the time. When I’m finished it’s a feeling like no other, always a feeling of peace and serenity – like what a Marathon runner must feel after a good workout.

My favorite is to do Bach style improvisations, they get very fast and would probably not please most ears I think. But at those times I don’t have to play for anyone else, just me and Thee.

Test Your Musical Skills in 6 Minutes

histogram.jpgCheck out the Online Pitch and Hearing Test by Jake Mandell. It’s fun and very difficult. Over 15,000 have taken the test online, so you can see how your ears fair against other people.

No, I’m not going to post my score – because like most other people I’m embarrassed by my score. In order to retain my musical dignity I need to point out the obvious – that the tones used in this test are not timbres and patches normally encountered in music production or performance.

.
ABOUT JAKE MANDELL AND THE TEST

While working at the music and neuroimaging lab at Beth Israel/Harvard Medical School in Boston, I developed a quick online way to screen for the tonedeafness. It actually turned out to be a pretty good test to check for overall pitch perception ability. The test is purposefully made very hard, so excellent musicians rarely score above 80% correct. Give it a try!

In our research, we were looking for neuro-anatomical correlates of tonedeafness (called “congenital amusia” in the scientific literature. We gave several dozen subjects a high-resolution MRI scan and used a statistical package to analyze the images. This technique, called VBM (voxel-based morphometry), has been used to study the changes in the brain caused by Alzheimer disease and many other neurological conditions. The test you are about to take was used as a screening test to roughly characterize patient’s pitch discrimination and musical memory abilities. Even though musical memory is strongly tested here, we have found that people who are tonedeaf tend to have normal musical memories.

ABOUT JAKE MANDELL
I am currently a medical student at UMass. I have a musical background, having composed several electronic music albums under my own name. I formerly worked in Berlin, Germany, for Native Instruments, and was involved with the Reaktor and Absynth instruments. On the medical side of things, I am interested in using radiological technologies, such as anatomical and functional MRI, to investigate musical perception.

Recording Studio Open Again

ozzie_don_rugg_2small.jpgRoad Records is back open again after a very long hiatus. The gear was brought up from California back in August and it’s all setup, but I kind of kept it a secret because I was enjoying working on my own projects. I’ve signed contracts on the first Road Records album to be produced iup here in Washington, so I guess it’s officially open now. Visit the Road Records recording studio website.

I won’t be advertising, will just be word of mouth. I’m happy to work on any original music, corporate soundtracks, film scores, remixes – basically anything that’s original and creative. No demos, karaoke, duplication or cheezy things of that sort this time around. Just serious original music.

beethoven_cool.jpgThe studio is set up very well for doing complete orchestral soundtracks and hip hop music. The work that I’m REALLY into is working with solo artists and songwriters on CD projects, doing soundtracks for video and film, sound effects and specialized foley for theatre, and working on new music works for church and theatre.

Many artists contact me to help with promotion, but that’s not my thing. I’m into audio production.

roadrecords_02.jpg